Uncategorized

When Doors Begin to Open

My spirit guides always tell me to write… So here it goes. Ever since I could remember I either wanted to dance or own my own business. I’m the type of person that can’t stick to one project and when the urge hits to try something new…. I’m the first one to the line. Now granted they all haven’t been very successful, I think it’s because I never dedicated myself to one thing…Boredom always catches up with me. Like right now…I’m ready to close the laptop and go rest but It’s clear that getting things off your chest is very valuable to one’s well being. Like a release.

Procrastination and fear of judgement always lingers. Well I procrastinate because of the fear… but that will just take me on a whole other thought so lets stick to this one for now, cause it seems like I’m on a role now with my words as I type away on the key board in peace. Kids are occupied.

As a libra, I dabbled in anything that peaked my interest and brought me joy. What of course didn’t bring me joy but brought me a consistent pay check was the jobs that I either quit or got fired from.

Sorry I lost my train if though due to a child interruption. She needed a snack. What was I saying again?… Oh right! Experimenting with different projects. Although some saw it as just as hobby, I saw it as a learning process. A chance to grow through experience on a very personal level. I can’t lie, I’ve done some serious work on my internal makeup that only now am I starting to see the magic happen on the physical level…. And I’m loving every minute of it. I can’t lie, It makes me feel a bit nervous, like your shedding the old vulnerable you and emerging into a real adult. Hahahahaha! Someone who owns their choices and walks in faith that they as well as their family will always be take care of.

Anyway… back to the story, I told you I can lose my train of thought. I started Aries Collection in 2010 as just an idea. Aries was named after my son’s middle name, and it would a collection of items that were cute and put a smile on my face. It was after I had my son who will soon be 13. Back then, even though it wasn’t that long ago, there were very few selection in terms of boys clothes out on the market. The girls clothes was saturated with a cute variety, and I wanted to change that. I would draw at night on pieces of paper but eventually nothing came of it, circumstances arose and I’m sure I got distracted. I left the concept alone and went on with being a Mom to my son and soon to be second child. A girl who is now 9 and 3 years after that, another girl who is now 6.

It was when I had my third that I returned back to Aries Collection. People thought my daughter was a boy so I decided to make headbands for her and people stared to really take a liking for them. I began creating and selling and the Moms just ate it up. I mean, who could blame them, right? I began to create a small following and it finally felt good to do what I love to do which was to create. Eventually the finances became a little stressful and the business had to be put on hold… The numerous websites and creative work all had to be put on a hold, I think to find out whether or I was ready. I truly believe that the Universe gives you what you need when you’re spiritually ready. That means cleaning out all the cob webs of the past and recreating new thoughts and patterns for the future. You know the adulting stuff… Bringing all my hopes dreams and imagination of my childhood to the forefront of my reality.

Am I rambling yet or am I staying on track?…. Years later, I’m still healing and becoming more clear about my intentions and what I really want for the future of myself and my family. After Losing my beloved chocolate lab of 14 years as well as having a miscarriage all in the beginning of the 2019. I know right?… I realized that it was important for me to get my physical level in order. Mentally, spiritually and emotionally was really coming together but the Universe was asking for me to join the party and to physically raise my energy. I started to get real with myself by making a schedule for myself and committed to the growth of my business. I started stepping out of my comfort zone by participating in different events and markets. Way out of my comfort zone but well worth it. I remember this little voice in my head that said if you only make a little money from your sales, just know that you’ll get a lot more out of it then you might think…. And I did.

Weeks before I had asked the Universe to open the doors for to meet like minded people who would believe in my business and who would support me just on the basis of merit. I couldn’t pay them anything but they wanted to be a part of the journey. Well like I said, the Universe gives what you need when you’re ready. A young woman who was there to support her friend had come to my table… we had got talking and connected right away. Always remember like attracts like. and our good vibes did just that. She was really impressed with the shop and wanted to offer her expertise to help grow my social media platform. It was exactly what I was asking for. I’m not very tech savvy and to be honest have no patience for any of that, not like I used to. I also realized that a growing team in your corner is very valuable.

We were finally able to meet up for a quick meeting so I could drop off some products for her to play around with and revamp my social media presence. With the little time we had, I learned a lot. I learned that there needs to be a clear and concise flow to what you want to put out to your customers. All the things that I knew I  wanted to do but didn’t know how to start it.

So what have I’ve learned here?…. Never give up on your dreams. You can put it on the shelf if you want to if life gets too busy but never forget it….Because it’s waiting for you and will always be waiting for you to finish what you’ve started.

Be clear on what you want. You’re not just getting clear with yourself but with the Universe.

And most importantly…Have faith. Have faith that you will attract the right people and situations to help you achieve the success you desire and deserve.

I hope you can continue to follow my journey through this experience and learn with me as I grow.

xoxox

life lessons, Uncategorized

Getting rid of the leftovers

So we’re almost at that midway point Of the year and it’s a full moon today. Called the Flower moon…. A time to assess the last few years of your progress… great job everyone! As well as a time to rid yourself of the last bit of leftovers that have kept you back from being your true self. That means getting rid of the emotional baggage such as the guilt, the resentment, the hurt and the false belief that you’re not good enough. It’s the crap that still wants to hold on tight to our aura because it has nowhere else to go and it’s ver comfortable in the parts of your being where it’s of course making your life miserable.

The Flower moon is all about fertility. That means new beginnings… the blossoming of the new you…. new experiences. No more leftover feelings that no longer serves your purpose.

We all have a tendency to continue go down the same path that always leads to a dead end which means you just have to repeat the same path or situation until you can get pass that particular obstacle or obstacles.

So how can you get rid of the last bit of leftovers?…..

  • Really get down to your feelings and figure out what’s weighing you down. Once you get real with yourself, take the time to write yourself a goodbye letter to the old you. You can take it one step further and burn it (please remember to be safe)
  • Make a list of all the things you’ve ever wanted to do… and get ready to step out of your comfort zone. Coming out of comfort zone allows you to get to know yourself a bit better and how far you can reach in this vast Universe of possibilities.
  • Make sure you’re staying true to who you are… and the only way to do that is to surround yourself with positive vibes. Keep yourself afloat with the feel good flow, you know the things that keep you motivated.

Remember the only way to release is to realize.

Realize your ability for growth and change.

Realize all the work you’ve done to get to this point.

And most importantly… Realize your worth.

You’re definitely worth more than you realize.

Happy Full moon.

Body, Mind & Spirit, Uncategorized

Finding the Rhythm

It’s Only been a week, yes since I’ve begun to find a rhythm. It has been a Mercury  Retrograde and it finally ended today. Now It’s time for reflection. It’s been really nice to finally get into the swing of things. So many of us are stuck in those habits that make us feel comfortable, but this Mercury retrograde is almost forcing us to break bad habits. To finally recognize those things that were holding us back and do what is right for our spirit. It’s about finding the rhythm and the balance.

As a parent with three kids. All who have different activities and lets not forget different personalities, I have to maintain a balance that allows me to stay unbothered as much as possible. I mean really, being a Mom is full of schedules and activities and it’s never ending, but the old me was to concerned with the overwhelming feeling of being able to take on all those tasks without burning myself out. Now I’ve to see that it’s the little self care moments that if you take it on at your own pace, you’ll find it will begin to help you in other areas of your life.

There’s a lo of us out there that believe that if we are constant grind  will get us to all our final destination or wish. The truth is… It’s about constantly feeding ourselves with the feel goods. From drinking water everyday as well as getting the proper amount of rest. However we also tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves by setting these outlandish goals  and when we don’t complete our desired goal that we set for ourselves, we immediately put ourselves down, give up and repeat the steps on a later date. You have to believe in your truth at that moment. Believe that you have the capabilities to reach that desired goal but at your own pace. Everyday will be different, which in my opinion is a good thing. Your body will tell you what it needs, just as long as you’re listening to your higher self to find out what feels good to your spirit.

growth, health and wellness, life lessons, Uncategorized

Holiday Hangover

Is it just me, or do you feel like you just woke up from a hangover a few days after Christmas?. It’s like there’s a lull between Christmas and New Years. Like we’re all suspended in mid air. Well I for one felt it and have felt that for many years, even growing up I felt it. It was like a CRESCENDO!!! leading up to Christmas and a DECRESCSENDO right after. Some how we try and keep the momentum going by getting up real early the next morning for Boxing day shopping…. You know they already have the Valentine’s day goodies out in the store….I can’t.

I GOT IT!…This lull gives us just enough time to realize how much money we’ve really spent this Christmas. Ugh!… Or we could think of it as the in between to collect our thoughts before the New Year. A recap if you will of what went down and how we can change the future simply by switching it up and trying  a different path.

Side Note: Doing things that are out of our comfort zone can also be good for our spirits.

Like a burst of rainbows…. Skittles or even Unicorns. Like it was waiting to come out breathe. Go ahead!…. Take that deep breath!

2019 is on its way!…I feel like the last few days has been an amp up to all the grandiose things  to come. A time to rest and reflect on all the lessons we’ve learned. Because there’s no such thing as mistakes, just lessons.

What lessons have you learned over the past year that strikes a nerve with you. Something that makes you say, “I will never repeat that ever again. I  learned to value myself a lot more. That I damn well deserve anything and everything that the Universe has to offer just like everyone else.

 Owning the Responsibilities of Success.

Success can sometimes pass us by because we’re not ready for the responsibilities that come along with it or we don’t have enough faith in the fact that we CAN take on the responsibilities that come along with success. The failures and all.

I will only hold space for positive people, things and situations. As you get older, you realize what’s good for the soul is good for the spirit. I recognize when its time to walk away from unhealthy shit!

I’ve also learned that you only live once on this earth as who you are today… So live it up. It’s ok if you’re currently in a bit of a rut. It will soon pass, It always does. It’s about keeping that CRESCENDO going until you reach the point of no return…And when you do return, just make sure that when you return on the most fluffiest cloud made of pink Gold looking Fabulous AF!

Body, Mind & Spirit

Fighting for my Inner child

I’m fighting for my inner child who never said a word

I’m writing for the inner child whose words might have gone unheard

For the inner child whose vision of what love really is, was blurred

I will Love You

I will protect You

I will honour You

And will be there for all your breakthroughs.

Righteous Sun

Sometimes, we forget that our inner child is still with us and has never really left. It’s just that we grow up. We grow up and think that what’s in the past is in the past. That we should be over anything that happened to us as a child. Sometimes the memories as a child could have been so rough, that we even force ourselves to forget but have vague memories of all the good that occurred in our lives as kids if any.

What we need to do is call out to that inner child that still comes around when we are reminded of the unpleasantry of our past. When we really haven’t healed those things from our childhood but have found ways to cope.

I’ve learned that even though some parts of my childhood sucked, there were positive things that I’ve taken with me. Things that have always been there and sum up who I AM and who I’m meant to be. I remember someone saying to me, “Invite your inner child to come along for the ride.” See, your inner child might be scared at first but it’s ok, just take them by the hand and reassure them that they are safe. I mean, you can’t have one without the other. You need your inner child for play…. And you have to admit it’s just as fun being an adult as it is being a kid, if you play you cards right!

So in those moments when the adult in you is wanting to take that chance or make that move but is ultimately frozen in fear, just tell your inner child that everything will be ok and that you can’t do it without them.

Inner Child is imagination. It is Resiliency. The ability to look at things with wonder and awww. Most of all it is the ability to grow and transform.

Today’s Affirmation is: I am gentle to my inner child as we uncover and release the old for the new.

Body, Mind & Spirit, life lessons, Uncategorized

Just When You’re Getting The Hang Of It.

Its been an emotional couple of weeks since the kids went back to school. Other years I was prepared, like a veteran getting the routine down pat. This time however… Let’s just say I haven’t bounced back from the summer and am trying to catch up. I was sloth tired, not wanting to get out of bed and forcing my body to move at a pace that was just not nice, so my body was telling me. I was definitely not listening to what my body was telling me because I am currently laid up at home with a cold. I NEVER catch a cold and I have an immune system of 10 armies. My army of fighters clearly needed to rest and recoup.

Note: Our bodies will sometimes force us into resting by knocking us out a an illness. It’s the spirit asking for us to STOP and RESTORE.  

Stop everything that you are doing including your thoughts and allow the spirit to restore its self to a proper balance.

Like I was saying this was the first year, I hadn’t had my shit together for back to school. My mind was still on laying under the sun. Can you blame me? I guess as you go through life you forget that everyone is growing up and so are you. I look like I’m 19 years old even though I’m 36, soon to be 37. Let’s hear it for the 80’s babies. The simpler times before life became more intricate. Well we’re in 2018 now, and when you think you have it all figured out as a person, an entrepreneur and especially a Mom and suddenly realize wait a minute this is a whole new phase I wasn’t prepared for. We were doing the best we could as parents, cause that’s  really all you can do… We make sure to give them all the love that they deserve and they deserve it all, and to see our son struggle with anxiety, all while trying to find his way through this now intricate world that has been created. It broke our hearts.

It broke my heart because it took me so long to get over anxiety and heal in general. It took many days of meditation and healing practices that I now teach and administer to others. I am a Reiki healer and intuitive counselor and not forget a kids yoga teacher…. and for some reason I couldn’t help my son. After tossing his cookies one morning and breaking out in a rash to wanting to come home early and crying in the school washroom. That wasn’t like my Marcus at all. I went straight to the principal and explained that he had began experiencing anxiety the begging of summer due to a tree almost fall on him and his friends during a wind storm. It was enough to get him spooked and enough for it to carry over and never fully recover. Only magnifying it with the change from grade 6 to grade 7.

We set him up with someone to talk to every Tuesday at school… he seems to like that, and because he’s bored outside when his friends go out at lunch  he helps out in the office, which he likes and so do I. This is all with the hopes that he gains confidence and finally settles into this new change.

While being on Mom duty, which is a 24/7 job I might add, I was also dealing with my emotional self. Wondering why I was so emotional and caught in my feelings. My period had  just ended. I should feel a bounce back, which I normally do. This time, I was forgetting everything. Thy Gym keys yesterday, the girls went to school with no juice box, my keys to the apartment when I took the dog for a walk… I’m pretty sure the list goes on but I can’t even remember that. LOL!

It got me thinking though. You know, as to why I felt like mush and didn’t know my right to my left. For the first time in along time, I hadn’t a clue what the Fuck I was doing with my life and where it was going. I cancelled one of my classes permanently. I was rushing into a lot of things and making decisions out of frustration.  Sometimes when we are clumsy, it’s our spirit telling us to slow down. I can’t lie… I even went as far as to question if I was really healed from all the trauma I suffered growing up. Sigh! I am about to embark on a new project. One that I was sitting on for a long time and knowing that I would do it with this particular amazing woman, I call my friend and in the way that seems fitting through Indigenous traditions and culture. We will be facilitating a women’s group that will aid in healing trauma that can lead to anxiety. We will be getting funding towards this amazing opportunity…. So how can I reach these people if I don’t tell my story? being the quiet one who just listens.  I never thought that the things I experienced was even relevant or of any importance and so I buried it away. Only find to finds other ways to heal or reprogram my thoughts or even me for that matter. The only things is I every so often resort back to those thoughts of mistrust and fear of only being able to rely on myself when times are rough….. and that’s just no true.

So have I fully healed? I now know that healing takes time. it takes emotions to be felt and expressed in any way that allows your body, mind and spirit to breathe. The roots of your trauma can run deep, so deep that it touches your ancestors…. and if we don’t heal from the core and sever those old thoughts and beliefs than we will forever be coping. I’m tired of just coping… I WANT TO LIVE!!! And I want others to live as well.

In the next couple of weeks I will hopefully be meeting with an elder. I never had the opportunity to meet my grandparents in person, and have always had a fascination with the wise thoughts and presence that an older person brings to the table.

Well I look forward to getting back to the new Me! This is only the beginning of me diving deeper into the vault of my psyche…. Just when you’re getting the hang of it.

Body, Mind & Spirit, life lessons, Uncategorized

Learning as I Go

Well, it’s a learning process for sure when it comes to running a small business. I felt like I have dived a lot deeper than before, and the Universe is telling me to Woman up. Sigh! My finances are currently in hot water. “I AM PROSPEROUS” and I am being forced to make a lot of changes in my life in order to accommodate where my spirit currently is. Which in my opinion is light years ahead. So I have to keep up in more ways than one.

Over the summer I was battling with myself over getting a full time day job or sticking with my small business. I have an accepted partnership with the Toronto District School Board. Now what you need to know is that I had many proposals to many organizations, all of them being rejected except for one. The TDSB. I always wanted to be a kindergarten teacher, and after volunteering in my child school, I really wanted to make a difference and get paid.  So they accepted my proposal and got to work right away from January to June. The income became scarce once school was out for the summer and that’s when I got to thinking. When you have kids, it becomes tough to just do side hustle jobs like cleaning or working at the casino which all pays well by the way, it’s just that it’s a monthly income rather than every two weeks and it’s part time. I have a responsibility to provide for my kids and sometimes the best thing to do is to work a full day job and teach classes at night. Just a thought….You know, An easier way to supplement what I love to do. I also feel like I’m being impatient with the process. It would be nice to have fast results, especially when it comes to providing for my kids.

I spoke with a small business consultant and she basically said if I wasn’t making my small business my everything and contemplating going back to a full time job than I should just quit all together and that running a business wasn’t up my alley. She also thought I got a bad deal with my the school contract and told me I should get out of it as soon as possible. Kind of tough for me to hear that considering everything I worked hard to achieve and achieved most of them. Gary Vee, the motivational speaker says that there will be a lot of people that will give you advice. Just remember that most of them will be giving advice based on their own experiences which will be biased and might not have your best interest at hand. In my opinion I thought I did the best I could with the knowledge I had when signing the contract.

The consultant was a little biased, but she did say some valuable things…

  • Always make contracts work for you. Meaning you don’t have to sign the first contract that is put in front of you. Tweak it until it works for you. There is no harm in changing a contract until it suits you and all parties involved. But most You.
  • Know Your Worth. I am guilty of this one. Feeling like your gifts, talents and skills are not up to par with the rest. Go back and look at all your skill levels, I’m sure you’ll be pleasantly surprised with how much you have accomplished and all the gifts that you possess. If you feel like you haven’t accomplished much?… Be gentle with yourself and level up! take some weekend courses if you can go the library or to your closest book store! They have great learning material that can educate and inspire you. Any way to add value to yourself is a plus. And when you feel worthy about yourself, others will to.
  • Set realistic goals and expectations. Sometimes we have so many amazing ideas and we have no idea how to put all of them into action, let alone one into action. That’s why it is important to set real life goals. Write down your thoughts and ideas are so important because its like the next step before execution. Trying the idea out in the real world to see if it works or not. Now your expectations should always exceed beyond compare but please remember that its ok to be gentle with yourself if you don’t exceed it right away. There will be times….. When you won’t succeed on the first try. Never give up! and take it one step at a time so that you don’t repeat the same pattern and you find different routes. A door will eventually open.

Last but not least…

BE CONFIDENT! Never be afraid to ask for what you want and be confident in your dreams. Really believe and have faith in yourself and in the universe that things will always be provided for you and your family. Have faith in you ability to succeed, have faith in your gifts and use them with GUSTO! When you really get to know yourself, the confidence begins to grow within you because your getting comfortable in your skin and you’re allowing for spirit to take over. What a blessing!

I’ve realized once again that my passion and purpose must be done in this lifetime and it’s all life lessons. So I’m going to be gentle with myself during this process and not force things into existence due to fear. Ground yourself! to allow for sound decisions to be made and silence yourself for answers to come freely.