Is it just me, or do you feel like you just woke up from a hangover a few days after Christmas?. It’s like there’s a lull between Christmas and New Years. Like we’re all suspended in mid air. Well I for one felt it and have felt that for many years, even growing up I felt it. It was like a CRESCENDO!!! leading up to Christmas and a DECRESCSENDO right after. Some how we try and keep the momentum going by getting up real early the next morning for Boxing day shopping…. You know they already have the Valentine’s day goodies out in the store….I can’t.

I GOT IT!…This lull gives us just enough time to realize how much money we’ve really spent this Christmas. Ugh!… Or we could think of it as the in between to collect our thoughts before the New Year. A recap if you will of what went down and how we can change the future simply by switching it up and trying  a different path.

Side Note: Doing things that are out of our comfort zone can also be good for our spirits.

Like a burst of rainbows…. Skittles or even Unicorns. Like it was waiting to come out breathe. Go ahead!…. Take that deep breath!

2019 is on its way!…I feel like the last few days has been an amp up to all the grandiose things  to come. A time to rest and reflect on all the lessons we’ve learned. Because there’s no such thing as mistakes, just lessons.

What lessons have you learned over the past year that strikes a nerve with you. Something that makes you say, “I will never repeat that ever again. I  learned to value myself a lot more. That I damn well deserve anything and everything that the Universe has to offer just like everyone else.

 Owning the Responsibilities of Success.

Success can sometimes pass us by because we’re not ready for the responsibilities that come along with it or we don’t have enough faith in the fact that we CAN take on the responsibilities that come along with success. The failures and all.

I will only hold space for positive people, things and situations. As you get older, you realize what’s good for the soul is good for the spirit. I recognize when its time to walk away from unhealthy shit!

I’ve also learned that you only live once on this earth as who you are today… So live it up. It’s ok if you’re currently in a bit of a rut. It will soon pass, It always does. It’s about keeping that CRESCENDO going until you reach the point of no return…And when you do return, just make sure that when you return on the most fluffiest cloud made of pink Gold looking Fabulous AF!

These words popped up into my head yesterday. When I heard a family in my neighborhood arguing. Screaming is more like it if you ask me. Anyways, it made me think of me as a kid when my parents would argue. As kid it felt more like screaming and fighting which I still believe is the case now as an adult. I strongly believe that anything can be hashed out with a heated discussion but not aggressive arguments that lead to nowhere. Screaming and yelling is only saying that I am only willing to hear my own voice and opinion and no one else’s thoughts, feelings or words matter.

It just made me think because kids live there and more often then not the adults are fighting. Those same kids are then coming to school and acting out… I wonder why?…As a child who experienced similar situations, I became very quiet and disconnected from people, especially my family and eventually the world. It took  along time for me realize I was safe and that it was safe to use my words. I see it in some of these children who have to experience this unhealthy way of living.

Who will they be when they’re older and how are they going to interact with the world and themselves?

The definition of a By-product is a secondary product derived from a manufacturing process or chemical reaction. It is not the primary product or service being produced.

Did we get that?… it is only secondary and manufactured but not the primary product. Our primary product is our spirit and our spirit is innocent and pure when we come into this world. The by-product is the manufactured bull shit of society. The manufactured belief system that has been engineered and  engrained in our psyche for so long that it has traveled through our ancestors to us in the present day. So am I a by-product of my existence?…Yes, forced into it if you asked me but I made an oath to myself that I would never stay packaged. My packaging and my product will be forever changing and that is what defines who I am.

So for those kids who are now adults who are still a by-product and scarred… For all the children who are currently living in an unhealthy home….. Just breathe, (sigh) no that you are in control of You and your spirit. No one is in charge of your heart and how you use it. So use it for only love.

Affirmation: I have the ability to change my whole existence for the better through love

I am about 85% better from the cold that knocked me out a few days ago and  of course was met with some challenges along the way to health. I am loving the summer weather in the fall but a bit hard to enjoy  it when you’re running a fever and still on Mommy duties. You would think vitamin D would do me some good but it really only made me light headed, especially when taking the dog for a walk or any activity for that matter. Its amazing how something so good for you isn’t always good for you in that particular moment. It’s like the Universe has been asking me to fall back and be reclusive like a hermit. Shade is currently my new best friend. Funny right?…

With all this free time being sick, it only gave me more time to rest and restore but most of all listen. Listen to what the Universe had to say to me. Do you ever feel like a completely brand new person after getting over a cold?, like a caterpillar changing into a butterfly. With all the stress and not feeling well and a whole wack of other goodies, I have honestly felt like things will get better from here.

Note: listen to the words that come out of your mouth when you talk. It is a clear reflection of where you are in your life currently.

I just realized that rather than me writing, “Things can get better”, which means there is the possibility of things getting better, I wrote’ “Things WILL get better.” Which is a declaration to the Universe and yourself.

Anyway, all this time got me thinking how I got to this point. Not like it matters, cause a cold is a cold. But it matters in the sense that I can learn something from myself of how to better protect myself when it comes to my cup being half empty and refilling it back up in healthy ways.

After having my kids and jumping full fledge into being a stay ay Mom, I just felt like I was ready and able to give them all of me. I had made a conscious effort to put ME aside and focus on them. What I thought was a good idea at the time, eventually turned into me feeling very drained and tired. I wasn’t really taking care of myself in the best way possible. Devoting my entire life to the kids and  neglecting myself wasn’t at all my intentions but I continued with the thought that, ” I had my fun in the past and it was all for the them now”. It was only when I had hit a point of not wanting to look at myself in the mirror and beginning to feel low self esteem that I realized, enough was enough. I had an epiphany and felt like it was time to reclaim a piece of me.

When you look good, you’ll feel good. It’s a visual thing that gets the ball rolling to self love. Before having kids, I…. without fail would go and get a manicure every two weeks and my hair done once a month. I enjoyed every minute of it. I would always get funky designs and colours, it totally represented my spirit and life at the time, Wild and Free. They knew me there and it was always a treat. With my hair….. Well, I’ve been getting my hair done ever since I could talk and use the washroom on my own. And whether I liked it or not, My hair was getting done. So it became a habit and a way of life for any female of colour. I never really saw hair as being a self care regimen.

It was only when I had benched myself from life that I realized those things weren’t just treats and habits but were also essential to my sanity as a Mother and a human being.

Did you know you can tell a lot from a persons hair and scalp? You can find out what vitamins and nutrients a person is missing just by looking at their hair. Amazing! As soon as I declared it to my partner and the Universe that Mommy was taking back her life and consciously making an effort to make time for herself and selfcare. I found a hairdresser in the neighborhood who I am now great friends to help me along the way. I can’t lie though…. I was doing so well with the upkeep. It was like a year and a half of “All about ME!” and then… Well I’m not really sure what happened but my self care regimen wasn’t at all what it used to be. I wasn’t always getting my nails done and I began to try and squeeze an my appointment  whenever and wherever I could. I thought it got easier when the kids got older… It didn’t. LOL!

Before I knew it, my self care regimen became a chore. My 2 hour Mommy time of getting my nails done was no longer fun. I would look at the time constantly wondering when I would be done so I could go back to my job of being a Mom and working in my small business. I began fitting it into my busy schedule rather than make time for it. I can now look back and know that there was a moment when I stopped feeling relaxed about taking care of myself. I stopped feeling relaxed while getting my hair done. It became more of a hurry up type of feeling or a feeling of dread that I had to take time out of my busy schedule to make myself look proper. (Just went British for a moment.)

Note to self: Self care should never feel like a chore and should be a lifestyle.

I’m learning that to truly self care is to be present in the moment. To enjoy every moment of it down to each breath. So that you never miss a beat. Of course selfcare began to feel like a chore for me… I wasn’t even present in any of my activities and was looking at it as negative thing rather than a positive one. I was literally fitting it in like it was a job. Fast forward to my epiphany after getting sick… and perhaps the reason behind me getting sick. Well that and Germs. Lol!

I want to be in a space of complete presence. I want everyday to feel like a spa day, I know that it can’t but what I do know is, in that moment when my cup is beginning to feel a bit empty that I will consciously know when to self care and be present in that moment of love for myself because… Well…. I deserve it. I deserved it before and I still deserve it now, more than ever before.

So I’m in the middle of a serious clean. My apartment and mind was a little in disarray. I’m the type of person who cleans in sections… to much for any person can be overwhelming. And I always attribute a cluttered space with a cluttered mind. Im not sure how it works but it works. I think it’s a visual thing and a definite energy thing as well. I am still process as we speak in making a lot more room in my head. I’m just taking a break.

Something happened yesterday that got me thinking. During my serious clean, my little one comes to me and says someone’s at the door. I was in such a zone that I wasn’t really down for any interruptions. I left my mind for a sec and went to see who it was. I’m in a little shock to see my neighbours daughter standing at my door looking tired and frail. She looked like she hadn’t eaten for days if not longer. and she’s only 19yrs old. She had come to ask me if I could clear some crystals that our neighbours had given her for healing. Crystals are amazing for that. I cleared them and she began talking. She’s going to bars with friends and drinking until she passes out. Sigh!…… I cleared her energy the best I could and left her with this because lord knows I love to help the broken spirits….

I said,

Only you can break the cycle that has been passed down to you through energy and DNA. No matter the cards you’ve been felt as a child, good or bad, you have to know deep down that if you had children, you would want the best for them. You would want them to have better life than you did… I’ve been there, we’ve all been there. I’m now in the position of breaking the cycle in my family by owning my own business….And that was me saying, “I want different for myself and for my kids”.

I left it like that and prayed that she left with something. When you think about it, it really is an internal battle. The spirit finding ways to cope with the spiritual scars of life…. even though the spirit is sensitive, its also very resilient. It’s when we put in the extra love that the spirit begins to wake up and remember… we were just to far removed and hurt to see. It all comes down to you.

As a reiki healer and an intuitive spiritual Counsellor, I would love to help others fall back in love with themselves. I am open to receiving new clients and new opportunities that allow me to express my gifts talents and abilities and share them with those who are interested. As I continue to grow in my practice so will the abundance in my life. I am grateful for the here and now and what is to come.

Just a little affirmation out into the Universe.

Ok…. I’m literally on the toilet typing this. (Way too much info)…lol!…. but I’m on the verge of serious change and it’s like my spiritual posse needs me to document it..ok, I need to document for more piece of mind. I also just need to her out of my comfort zone in regards to using the voice that was given to me. You know it’s like I have a million thoughts running through my head at any given moment that I find it hard to formulate those feel goods that get me through the day. I always get amazing message from my posse to get me through the day and I’m always like… I’m going to forget it in about 5 min. I am a Mom you know…. if three, so that means 3 times less the memory.

I’m hoping the more I write the more I will open up in my creativity and I’m just being dedicated to myself. A dedication of no longer being afraid of my words and their impact because it’s for me first… (No offence) ugh!… there I go again. I’ve gotten as far as starting my own business which is slowly becoming successful in its own right… you know when you’ve been looking for a platform to work from and the whole time it’s You!… EPIPHANY!!!… I’m working on and from my own platform. I just need to make sure I nurture my roots to make me stronger and secure in who I am and what I do. Isn’t that crazy?… my platform is supportive and loving and always giving positive feedback. I’ve been searching for a unique platform to come and sweep me off my feet to hall me catapult my life in all honesty and the reality is… I need to work on the platform that was given to to reconstruct… I’ve always loved renovations, but who likes to be in the middle of it… we all just want to see and live in the end result.. it obvi takes work.

They say that a Womens cervix is made out of the same tissue as your cervical spine.. when one is open the other opens as well. This is why during an orgasm a women is more likely to become more vocal. It also means though, that if you’ve experienced trauma in that region or are not rooted in You then you’re more likely not to use your voice. You can learn a lot from social media.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure my thoughts went in three different places…. but the summary is still the same… I’ve learned a little bit more about myself… which only helps you to grow more.

Until next time…the kids are still sleeping and will enjoy this peace and quiet for a little longer. Until next time.

Well Spring has officially never begun. It is April 15th 2018 and its snowing. Where buds on the trees should be showing proudly….instead we see them being covered by icicles….. Or were they really there to begin with. The buds, I mean. Maybe just wishful thinking on my part. Just wanting the spring to show it’s beautiful pastel colours that in turn give us the bold colours of Summer. The warmth that the sun brings on my skin is quiet amazing and by the time summer is in full swing, I’m lookin’ like a yummy morsel of Godiva chocolate. Of course I’m the expensive kind.

If the Retrograde wasn’t enough, Mother Nature decided to hit us with the last blast of very cold weather. It felt like we were going backwards and revisiting a lot of things that we thought were resolved or went unnoticed.  Is  it just me or was this the longest running Retrograde ever? It felt like it would never end and that included the tears. Emotionally it was unpredictable and if you’re a parent or look after kids, you could definitely say that  munchkins all over the globe felt this stretch as well.

And now that’s its finally over, there’s no more excuses for not getting the job done. No more excuses for wishful thinking. It’s time to devise a plan if you don’t already have one and set the wheels in motion. If you don’t have a plan , then you should be real glad that Mother Nature just gave you a bit more time. (Especially if you live in Toronto, Canada.)

A plan is like the map to the goals that you set, and sometimes the planets and the stars could either confuse or redirect you at any moment. It can also put a total stop to everything and teach you a lesson all at the same time. it’s multifaceted.  I don’t know about you, but it is imperative that I stay on track so I don’t lose my mind…. I do have kids to look after, and that alone could make any person  lose their mind at any moment.

That’s why it is so important for us to hone in on something we love to do. I’ve always been crafty, and enjoy seeing the finished product of what it is that I’ve made. I’ve always loved fashion and have always wanted to share my creativity in any way possible. So I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone of living in fear and doubt and jumped into something that brings out my creativity. I’m….. dabbling in the screen printing and I’m loving every minute of it. It allows me to express myself through words and then place it on a garment of clothing. My advice is to find something that can really be your own and that allows you to create and express your individuality. When we become parents, we take this unspoken oath to share our lives with these little people, no questions asked. However, you can keep some things to ourselves.

You know I have a habit of getting distracted when starting a hobby or activity but to turn that hobby into my dreams, I must set some goals. I learned a lot about setting goals and intentions this last 3 weeks. I’ve learned that setting goals and sticking with them are two different things. Setting a goal is like make a statement of what you want or plan on achieving and sticking with a goal is to have patience with the choice that you’ve made. That means sticking with a choice that you know will take practice in order to be perfect.

Luckily, this storm has given me just a little extra time to reflect on everything I’ve learned or have had to figure out during this transit. It has been disappointing at times but I’m sure that is from me going against the current.(I’m a control freak.) Its a good thing I guess, because I did learn a lot about myself and where I’m headed as long as I’m willing to go there where no one has ever gone before in my family.

My dream at the time was to own my own business and I accomplished that in January of this year. Now my reality is to become successful at my endeavor(s) and inspire others to follow their dreams. Therefor, following through would be the last piece to the puzzle. To follow through means to trust that little voice in your head that tells you what your next move is. In order to make that voice louder, we really need to quiet the mind and trust that you will be led in the right direction.

I am the one that has little to no patience and have had to learn how to become patient thanks to my children. Parents you know what I’m talking about. As a mom life can get put on hold to raise the children and so what I’m trying to do is learn how to balance my personal life and my mommy life into one and make it work as smooth as I possibly can… How am I doing so far you ask?… well it’s really only been like a week but so far so good… LOL!

To be patient with the process is to be consistent as well as persistent. We can’t give up on whatever it is that we are waiting for just because it’s not coming fast enough. We have to be patient with the process and we have to be patient with ourselves. Perhaps it’s not the right time as much as we all want it to be “the right time”.

Now I’ve been doing with a lot of patience practice lately and what I’ve realized is that I need to be a little bit more gentle with myself and the situations that I am in as well as to be gentle with the relationships that I choose to build on.

Not everybody runs at the same pace and so I can’t have expectations on someone else who might not be in the same place as I am…so what I’ve learned is that I’m a little anal retentive…. lol! and rather than putting my expectations on another person, it’s better that I give the situation time and space as well as that other person time and space. When I begin to do that, I begin to practice patience with myself.

What I’ve also realized is that I can’t feel guilty if I choose not to be patient with the situation. I have my own path that I must follow. And as I continue on my path I will begin to make ground and I will begin to pick up the pace and I won’t stop until I get to the end whatever that may be.

Sometimes we tend to stop our own path to help out another and that is OK but we can’t continue to wait for that person to catch up to where we are because that can take a long time. That can also distract us from staying on course with our own path, passion and purpose.

When people get off course they think maybe it’s because it was meant to be, maybe I’m not supposed to do those things, maybe I am just meant to be a stay at home mom… a nurturer…. Darlings!… I’m here to say that you can add anything you want to your. When we get off course it’s just the Universes way of saying re-balance yourself!… and how bad do you want it…. How bad do you want to succeed and how much do you love yourself to put yourself first so that you can succeed. Pay attention when you get off course and have patience with yourself and be gentle enough with yourself that you can gradually move yourself back onto that path, purpose and passion!

Righteoussun