life lessons, Uncategorized

The Not So Summer Blues

I came home this morning from the cleaning the gym. What a mess it was. You wonder how one place can get so dirty…But then you realize it’s a bunch of girls in that gym… Nuff said. Anyways, To my surprise when I got home, my partner hadn’t left yet for work. That was a nice feeling. We’ve been a lot busier lately which means less time together and the time we do spend together is on the couch past out. Parents, I know you feel me.

The kids were still asleep, so I went out on the balcony to catch up on some silence. It’s always nice to catch the silence before all the hustle and bustle begins. So of course as I’m taking in the summer morning, it got me thinking…. Wow, this summer feels like a good summer. Now I’m not really sure what I meant by that at the time but I think I’m getting a handle on it.

Earlier in the month, I was feeling a bit guilty that I wasn’t really doing much with the kids. From our middle one in gymnastics 4 days a week for the whole summer and everyone working, non stop with no days off, it’s been interesting trying to navigate fun into the equation. So far the kids haven’t complained…. So far. Something about this morning made me feel like even though, I’m not taking the kids here and there, we’re still enjoying summer. It was like a sense of ease, which got me thinking even more. Since it was the eclipse and it’s all about letting go.

When I was a kids, all my friends would go on vacation during the summer. So while they were on summer vacation, they were on vacation. I, on the other hand was at home for most of the time being watched my sister or in day camp which I wasn’t very fond of. I also wasn’t fond of staying home for the entire summer. When it was the first day of school and the teacher asks the class to write about what they did for the summer, my paragraph didn’t have much details. I had to look at the difference from then and now… My summers were good but there was always this lingering feeling of worry and fear because you knew that your Dad would come home and perhaps get mad about something or perhaps your parents would start arguing which they often did. So deep down you could never really enjoy summer and let your hair down.

Fast forward to now. That feeling isn’t there. I think it was lingering around, and I never took the time to acknowledge it and release it. So I did that today. I released that feeling of tension and sadness that went along with that feeling of summers past. I sat on that balcony with a feeling of gratitude. I’m  spending my summer in a loving home that I helped create. The days are filled with summer activities and BBQ’s, Morning are filled with birds chirping and the sun rising and I get to enjoy every bit of it with no worry or fear. Deep down that’s the type of summer I always wanted. Maybe it was never really about the vacations, although I still want to do plenty of travelling with the family. It was more about experiencing the peace and leisure of summer in a safe space which makes summer of course more enjoyable as a kid. I’m definitely grateful that my partner and I can provide that for our kids. Releasing what no longer serves me and filling it with my truth and my new reality.

Reminder: Even when you feel like the world is against you, just know that the Universe is for you.

 

Uncategorized

Nurturing the success of your children as well as yourself

Now I’m no expert in parenting but going to an event that I was already hesitant to go to but for some reason decided to stop in got me thinking really hard… I mean some real food for thought.

The event was in honour of people of colour for Black history month a friend of mine had invited me and so I thought I don’t think I’ve ever really honoured my blackness in public with other people of colour so why not go. The speaker was someone very influential. So I guess I wanted to hear how this woman got to where she was today all while being a mother. When the question was finally raised about motherhood and how she had navigated through all of her rise to success all while being a single mom her response was this, “it was all a blur” which would explain a lot.

You see I don’t know this speaker personally but I do know of her daughter and I know that in someways her Mother’s success affected her In many ways then one and that’s what got me thinking…. even though she is very successful in her career the parenting piece was all a blur. What I’m saying is I don’t want my parenting and my time with my kids to be a blur because I was so driven towards my own success. We can find success in so many different things we can find success in the big things as well as the little things and sometimes the success that we do find is really those happy times and those connected moments with the ones we love.

Even as women of colour there is always this hardness behind us that’s more along the lines of ‘suck it up butter cup’, as oppose to the gentle nurturer. I can attest by my own mother and how she navigated through her career and being a Mom. Now that I’m a Mom, I can understand where they were coming from. They were single Moms who were really living in survival mode for themselves and most importantly for their children and so they did what ever they had to, to get to that next level, even if it meant that the kids wouldn’t get the gentle Motherly type.

So the question is how can we as parents nurture our success and our children’s success at the same time?….

These are some of the tools I’ve learned and continue to apply to my life and my family life.

1) in order to nurture the success of your children you first have to find out what they love… as a Mom I have always paid attention to the interest of my kids. My son loves science and nature and so we try and find activities that foster his interests.

My middle one loves gymnastics and is a natural and my little loves music and so I’m slowly moving her in that direction because that’s what she loves. Now of course as a parent I had different plans but when the Universe shows you the joy that comes out of it when they do what they love that my friends is success.

2) prioritize your time as a Mom and as a career driven woman. Sometimes we feel we can only do one but not both. When you’re running your business and trying to get it off the ground, the down time is very limited but that doesn’t mean that you can’t set aside down time for the people you love. Create a schedule that works and remember to add in DOWN TIME!

3) Be self aware… as parents we have a tendency of not being aware of the effects we have on our kids. We can be so focused in the success and the end result that we can sometimes have blinders on forgetting our kids needs which could just be them wanting Mommy time. Make sure we’re spreading the knowledge of where happiness really comes from. Not from the late nights at the office, but from those special moments we have with the people we love.

Friendship, growth, life lessons, Messages from the Heart, Uncategorized

The Hermit

If you have been following me, you would know that on e of my major complaint is not having enough positive peeps in my life. You know the ones that I’m talking about. that Best Friend kind of peep. Now I’m not all about having to many people at my table, as it is by invite only, my friends list is pretty small. I believe that too many friends can cause confusion and delay. If you’re a parent, you know what I mean. (Thomas the Train movement on this page today).

As a kid I wanted to have as many friends as possible, so much so that I couldn’t see between those who had my best interest at hand and those who didn’t. I carried that unwavering feeling of trying to fit in all the way to adulthood. Having kids changed that right away for me. I became a hermit. I think I always I’ve always enjoyed my own company really. I talk to myself and I answer back. I am truly my own best friend. I take my own pics to…..LOL! Sometimes it can be lonely as fuck though. No one to really laugh at your jokes or sing with you in that moment when its needed. No one to come over and have a girls night with….. I do get along with women, I promise.  Sigh!

Maybe its for the best….. Not having a lot of girlfriends and all. It just makes things messy. right? For some reason we get jealous way to easy and God forbid we find a man, well that best friend will be M.I.A. until further notice. We become Moms and go M.I.A. Here’s a thought, when we go missing in action, and don’t respond to ourselves, then it’s like we go missing from our true selves, and its up to us to find ourselves again.

Maybe its the Universe telling me to cool it down and relax. There is still more work to be done internally, but I’m still human. I still want to kick back with my girls, whoever they may be.

Sometimes I’m waiting for the Universe to tell me something magical only to tell me to dive deeper. like how much deeper can go. How much deeper do I have to go to see the fruits of my labour? This retrograde has me fucked up. Honestly!…. How about you? how have you been holding up?

Ever since being initiated into Reiki, I lost a lot of people who were no longer on the same vibration level as me. See what reiki does is allows the body to heal itself through light touch administered by a practitioner. If initiated, the practitioner’s spirit fast tracks to the next highest vibrational level. leaving others who are running on a lower vibrational level to fall of. So basically those who do not serve my higher purpose… well, “Boy Bye”. Good for my spirit, it needed a purge. wait1…getting something….. They said, that for all the things that are going to happen for you in and in your life… all of it being major, that we want to make sure that you have the right people in your corner. You know, the ones that genuinely have your back? that really just want to see you win…because when you, we all win.

I have been in my feelings like Drake with Keke, while also acting up like I’m on my worst behaviour or on the verge of it. That’s it I’m definitely in need of some meditation time. Go with the flow, reflect and connect and everything will soon pass. My mantra for the rest of the day. What are ways that you try and connect to other women who are in alignment with the same flow. mind you everyone’s flow is unique but you can still be on the same wave length. Have you had t a change of friends? or realizing that it’s time for change. Are your friends serving your higher purpose and spirit?

And is it lonely at the top? Once again would love to here your thoughts and comments.

 

 

 

Uncategorized

I want to give her the world

Gymnastics provincials were on Friday, June 1, 2018. I was so nervous for my little girl and hopes and prayed for her to get on my podium. This time we were competing with 40 kids in one group instead of the regular 8. She placed 16th in Ontario All around. Now as a mom I couldn’t be more proud than I already am of my little mamasita but as a parent especially a mom you always and I mean always want the best for your kids.

All year she did amazing placing in the top three on the podium. Provincials was a whole other ball game and as a parent you want the best for your kids all the time. I can’t lie it totally broke my heart to know that she didn’t place for a medal I knew how much she wanted it. All I wanted her to know was that she was loved very much. How come when our kids go through something that didn’t quite work out the way it was supposed to, as parents we just want to hug it all away? I knew it bothered her that she didn’t get a medal because she loves to win… lol, but who doesn’t. She was fine in the grand scheme of things. To justify… it was her first championship competition.

For the last couple of days I have questioned as a parent what could I have done differently to support my child in her endeavours …. This is how the conversation went down….

Me: I want to give her the sun moon and stars the cosmos and galaxies far beyond,

Universe: The best thing you can give is them knowing even through the ups and downs the love for her will be remain the same the spirit is Omni present and forever means the same it’s the being that becomes in life no matter the lead down for the heartbreak long as we know that we are loved our love then our spirit will forever be intact.

Body, Mind & Spirit, Friendship, life lessons, Uncategorized

What about your Friends

“What about your friends”… You know TLC always has the hottest joints and was speaking truth to top it all off. As parents we want our kids to find that best friend that they can call their own… That BFF that becomes par of the family. As parents, we also wouldn’t mind if our own kids were besties with our besties kids. Too cute! Right?. But sadly that isn’t always the case, especially as we get older. We teach our kids to be kind to our friends and to always share. All well and good until that friend starts to overstep their boundaries and begins taking advantage. Well then, it’s no holds bar after that.

Let’s begin by understanding the meaning friends. Some of us are currently in friendships that don’t really elevate you. Some of us are actually in friendships that make you feel exhausted by the end of it. And some of you are in friendships that are down right shitty.

When we were younger, we received a lot of our confidence from out friends. The more friends the . It was a status thing to show how popular you were, especially in High school.  Then by the end of your final year in high school, you realize that you might never see these people again, because you are all going to different colleges when you graduate. (If you graduated)…. All those bonds that were made slowly start to become thin as we go through our years in college meeting other people with similar interests as yourself. We move on from college and begin working and meeting new people, we might get married and have kids which then puts you in a different category of friends. (If you have any at all after having kids). Welcome to the Parents Club!

That’s why we’re going to break down what not to look for in a friendship….. You know those friends that when you talk to them, it’s always about them during the conversation. Not once do they ask you how you are doing. They just pour their whole hear out like you’re their therapist. They complain about the same thing and when you give them sound advice but they never take it. You want to find a friend that is a great listener, and someone who values you as well. It is of course a balancing act but if you’re friend is a giver and receiver than you shouldn’t run into any problems.

Make sure that the friends you keep are on the major positive tip. We might have friends that are basically Debbie Downers but because you’ve been friends for such along time, you can’t bare to tell them to brighten up their attitude. So you still hang out with them, only to begin to feel as low as your friend. Simple, hang out with people who match your vibrations. If you are on that positive vibe than you must hang out with people who match that, so that you can both celebrate together. Be aware… Those who are positive will always encourage their fellow friends because they want you to win as much as they do. No competition.

Find a friend with little to no drama. Hiccups and obstacles will always come our way, it’s our response to it that matters the most. If you have a friend that always has dram follow them and just can’t act right when the drama does happen… Then you must rethink your friendship… no matter how much they can be. If you have friends that try and you the drama even if you had nothing to do with but somehow got dragged into it… Then please rethink your friendships right now as we speak.

No judgement is huge in my book. Why?…. because we all have flaws and sometimes we’re always quick to judge others on their past without looking at ourselves in the mirror. We all have a path to take, and it can get bumpy on our journey to freedom. So don’t judge others if they haven’t reached the same level as you. If you see a willingness from your friend to make positive changes in their lives then its worth hangin’ around. By setting comfortable boundaries you can still meet others who are on the same vibe as you while still maintaining a friendship with those who are a work in progress… Because face it! we are all works in progress.

Last but  not least is to have FUN!. Have fun with your friend(s) they should be the type that gets you out of your comfort zone and helps you to be more adventurous with life. It usually works where one friends is shy and timid and the other friend is wild and spontaneous. it’s nice to that Yin and Yang in a relationship because it forces you to speak up for yourself and it also teaches you how to honour your feelings while being open to someone else’s… Like your friend!

So not that we know what’s  healthy when hanging with our friends…. What about your friends?….

Body, Mind & Spirit, life lessons, Relationships, Uncategorized

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

Ohhhhhh RESPECT! Now…. That is something we all want and are in constant search of… Not sure why we are in search of it when it literally lays inside our entire body. I guess we have to learn how to make it part of our entire self as a whole.

How do we do that? Well I have to start off by saying that I’m writing this blog on behalf of all people out their that are currently being taken advantage of, used and mishandled. That’s right, I said it. All three words are different and yet the same. I am speaking for the ones who are too shy or too broken to speak up.

What does RESPECT really mean?…. Let’s break it down….

R- Responsibility is a major one when it to respect. We have a responsibility to ourselves to set the tone on how we are treated. To set the tone on how we are respected.  When we undervalue ourselves, we are really saying that you can treat me any which way you want. I am you puppet. Now I know that sometimes we don’t want to rock the boat because we just don’t like confrontation but that just gives out an itinerary of how others will treat you for the rest of your life. I sure as heck do not want to see an itinerary of pure disrespect, especially towards myself. Take ownership of who and what feels good in your life…. And if they don’t like it…. Well…. they know where they can go in my book. (off the pages of my best selling novel).

E- Expectations is like setting boundaries. Have expectations on what you allow in your circle. Have expectations on what is acceptable and what’s not. Now, if we have expectations on our partner or love interest that is clearly unattainable and we’re not willing to budge or compromise, well then….. we might always be single…. let’s be honest… no one is perfect and we will always have things that we can’t stand about that love but fully well know that we also can’t live without their ass. So place realistic expectations on yourself and others, cause you have to remember that everyone has a journey and it takes time to discover it or rediscover in some cases.

S- Safe. I know what you’re thinking. How does being or feeling safe have to do respect. To feel comfortable in the choices that you make is to feel safe. Not everyone is going to agree with you but as long as they can respect that you have your own opinion is something in itself. We will purposely stay silent not to rock the boat in conversations because we are afraid of what people might think of us. I was once there and I still have my moments. We have to STOP!!!… We need to begin by creating a safe space within ourselves that is ever changing but that withstands the test of time. To feel safe is to have confidence over ones self and to when you have confidence you set the tone of how people will treat you.

P- Peace upon ourselves and our circle. That just means that I have enough peace within me to know that when someone tries to enter into my circle with their negativity, that I have enough peace within me not to FUCK THEM UP!. Sometimes we have to let go of the mindless people and their bullshit. There will be countless times when negativity will try and step in your way. You have to have enough peace of mind to know that you should always carry yourself with class and grace…. They just luck that they got GOD BLOCKED. Now take your Peace and SLAY!

E- Equality Bitch!… To feel equal with one another. We might look different or classify ourselves into different categories but the truth of the matter is we are all the same. We are Human Beings…. And as beings we are so similar, that if we all realized that, this world would be a lot different. There are people out there that might never see you as equal, but that should never stop you from commanding it. If they still can’t see it… well my motto is “You’re cut!” You are officially of the positivity train. If someone can’t see you as an equal then they are definitely not worth your time.

C- Communication is a great way to learn how to give and receive respect. For they shy person that I was, I realized that I had to communicate my feelings even if I knew it was going to shake things up for a minute. I had to muster up the courage to express myself in order for them to show me respect in the way that I saw fit. When I spoke up, it totally changed the way people began to look at me and approached me. (I’m only 5’1) How can another person change the way  they treat you if you don’t tell them? what if  you actually get positive feedback when you communicate your feelings. Anything is possible, but you have to communicate to find out.

T- Trust is the last one on the list. And probably the most important one. To trust yourself  and stand firm in your beliefs. Now your beliefs will always change as will you, but your authenticity to yourself will remain the same. The loyalty that your spirit has for you is by far the most pure and loving love to ever grace this Universe and we should have faith and trust that Spirit has your back. When you begin to trust that your authenticity really matters in this world and to your existence, a feeling of self respect will wash over you…. and when you have self respect you have self love.

Well I hope that sums it up for you. Like Aretha Franklin said, “R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me.” That’s is exactly right, find out what respect means to you…. oh yea!…. and  OWN IT!

Body, Mind & Spirit, growth, life lessons, Messages from the Heart, Relationships, Uncategorized

Tuesday, December 19th 2017

Well, I as I contemplate the day and go over anything with corrections, just in case I missed any lessons along the way. I type as I go, so I am stating from now that I will not feel guilt for my lack of grammar use. Its my journal. Today was no different, I found it somewhat hard to get out of bed… not because I was depressed, but just because I was tired. The winter will do that to you. I have never been really been one for Winter but since we have free healthcare, I guess I’ll stick around with little complaint.

2018 is fast approaching, and Miss Universe is asking me to focus on MY task at hand… Don’t worry like you used. They will make it. I have been asked to take stock.. like inventory of what’s hot and what needs to be discontinued… So here’s what I came up with…

What’s HOT is… Focusing on my hustle and my gains and don’t let others negative thoughts penetrate my temple. What should be discontinued are those people who will blame others for their own actions. pay attention, because the bull shit will follow you if you’re not careful.

What’s HOT is loving yourself too fucking much to even have the time to invest in a relationship where they can’t invest in themselves. ( YOU have to believe in yourself First before anyone else does)… That’s how the magic begins… What should be discontinued are those thoughts that limit you from being the greatest person on earth. *Note: Not every setback means you should wait of its just not meant to be… Sometimes its just Miss Universe saying…”How bad do you want it?”

What’s HOT!…. Being Spiritually conscious and sexy AF. Spirituality is not a religion where you have restrictions and you must live within the word or else bad things will happen. Being Spiritually conscious is way of life. Its a lifestyle of freedom. A Self Love like no other. Spirituality is a celebration of the journey one must take. “I just sounded like a guru”…  but  what The Guru says is true.

What definitely needs discontinuing is the Fake image of self. That image that you try to uphold for everyone else except for you. Its time to uphold yourself to your own self made standards. (They can be switched at anytime you know) The only things that is hot is being your authentic self… and that doesn’t mean in the flesh… That means be and do what makes you happy. DISCLAIMER!!!… (As long as no one gets hurt in the process) You feel me?… The only way to be authentic is to speak up… if not to others to start… Speak up to your self…. Your old self. Tell them wassup…. and then tell them that they’ve been discontinued….

Peace

Righteous Sun