life lessons, Uncategorized

Getting rid of the leftovers

So we’re almost at that midway point Of the year and it’s a full moon today. Called the Flower moon…. A time to assess the last few years of your progress… great job everyone! As well as a time to rid yourself of the last bit of leftovers that have kept you back from being your true self. That means getting rid of the emotional baggage such as the guilt, the resentment, the hurt and the false belief that you’re not good enough. It’s the crap that still wants to hold on tight to our aura because it has nowhere else to go and it’s ver comfortable in the parts of your being where it’s of course making your life miserable.

The Flower moon is all about fertility. That means new beginnings… the blossoming of the new you…. new experiences. No more leftover feelings that no longer serves your purpose.

We all have a tendency to continue go down the same path that always leads to a dead end which means you just have to repeat the same path or situation until you can get pass that particular obstacle or obstacles.

So how can you get rid of the last bit of leftovers?…..

  • Really get down to your feelings and figure out what’s weighing you down. Once you get real with yourself, take the time to write yourself a goodbye letter to the old you. You can take it one step further and burn it (please remember to be safe)
  • Make a list of all the things you’ve ever wanted to do… and get ready to step out of your comfort zone. Coming out of comfort zone allows you to get to know yourself a bit better and how far you can reach in this vast Universe of possibilities.
  • Make sure you’re staying true to who you are… and the only way to do that is to surround yourself with positive vibes. Keep yourself afloat with the feel good flow, you know the things that keep you motivated.

Remember the only way to release is to realize.

Realize your ability for growth and change.

Realize all the work you’ve done to get to this point.

And most importantly… Realize your worth.

You’re definitely worth more than you realize.

Happy Full moon.

Uncategorized

Nurturing the success of your children as well as yourself

Now I’m no expert in parenting but going to an event that I was already hesitant to go to but for some reason decided to stop in got me thinking really hard… I mean some real food for thought.

The event was in honour of people of colour for Black history month a friend of mine had invited me and so I thought I don’t think I’ve ever really honoured my blackness in public with other people of colour so why not go. The speaker was someone very influential. So I guess I wanted to hear how this woman got to where she was today all while being a mother. When the question was finally raised about motherhood and how she had navigated through all of her rise to success all while being a single mom her response was this, “it was all a blur” which would explain a lot.

You see I don’t know this speaker personally but I do know of her daughter and I know that in someways her Mother’s success affected her In many ways then one and that’s what got me thinking…. even though she is very successful in her career the parenting piece was all a blur. What I’m saying is I don’t want my parenting and my time with my kids to be a blur because I was so driven towards my own success. We can find success in so many different things we can find success in the big things as well as the little things and sometimes the success that we do find is really those happy times and those connected moments with the ones we love.

Even as women of colour there is always this hardness behind us that’s more along the lines of ‘suck it up butter cup’, as oppose to the gentle nurturer. I can attest by my own mother and how she navigated through her career and being a Mom. Now that I’m a Mom, I can understand where they were coming from. They were single Moms who were really living in survival mode for themselves and most importantly for their children and so they did what ever they had to, to get to that next level, even if it meant that the kids wouldn’t get the gentle Motherly type.

So the question is how can we as parents nurture our success and our children’s success at the same time?….

These are some of the tools I’ve learned and continue to apply to my life and my family life.

1) in order to nurture the success of your children you first have to find out what they love… as a Mom I have always paid attention to the interest of my kids. My son loves science and nature and so we try and find activities that foster his interests.

My middle one loves gymnastics and is a natural and my little loves music and so I’m slowly moving her in that direction because that’s what she loves. Now of course as a parent I had different plans but when the Universe shows you the joy that comes out of it when they do what they love that my friends is success.

2) prioritize your time as a Mom and as a career driven woman. Sometimes we feel we can only do one but not both. When you’re running your business and trying to get it off the ground, the down time is very limited but that doesn’t mean that you can’t set aside down time for the people you love. Create a schedule that works and remember to add in DOWN TIME!

3) Be self aware… as parents we have a tendency of not being aware of the effects we have on our kids. We can be so focused in the success and the end result that we can sometimes have blinders on forgetting our kids needs which could just be them wanting Mommy time. Make sure we’re spreading the knowledge of where happiness really comes from. Not from the late nights at the office, but from those special moments we have with the people we love.

Body, Mind & Spirit, life lessons, Uncategorized

Self care shouldn’t be a chore

I am about 85% better from the cold that knocked me out a few days ago and  of course was met with some challenges along the way to health. I am loving the summer weather in the fall but a bit hard to enjoy  it when you’re running a fever and still on Mommy duties. You would think vitamin D would do me some good but it really only made me light headed, especially when taking the dog for a walk or any activity for that matter. Its amazing how something so good for you isn’t always good for you in that particular moment. It’s like the Universe has been asking me to fall back and be reclusive like a hermit. Shade is currently my new best friend. Funny right?…

With all this free time being sick, it only gave me more time to rest and restore but most of all listen. Listen to what the Universe had to say to me. Do you ever feel like a completely brand new person after getting over a cold?, like a caterpillar changing into a butterfly. With all the stress and not feeling well and a whole wack of other goodies, I have honestly felt like things will get better from here.

Note: listen to the words that come out of your mouth when you talk. It is a clear reflection of where you are in your life currently.

I just realized that rather than me writing, “Things can get better”, which means there is the possibility of things getting better, I wrote’ “Things WILL get better.” Which is a declaration to the Universe and yourself.

Anyway, all this time got me thinking how I got to this point. Not like it matters, cause a cold is a cold. But it matters in the sense that I can learn something from myself of how to better protect myself when it comes to my cup being half empty and refilling it back up in healthy ways.

After having my kids and jumping full fledge into being a stay ay Mom, I just felt like I was ready and able to give them all of me. I had made a conscious effort to put ME aside and focus on them. What I thought was a good idea at the time, eventually turned into me feeling very drained and tired. I wasn’t really taking care of myself in the best way possible. Devoting my entire life to the kids and  neglecting myself wasn’t at all my intentions but I continued with the thought that, ” I had my fun in the past and it was all for the them now”. It was only when I had hit a point of not wanting to look at myself in the mirror and beginning to feel low self esteem that I realized, enough was enough. I had an epiphany and felt like it was time to reclaim a piece of me.

When you look good, you’ll feel good. It’s a visual thing that gets the ball rolling to self love. Before having kids, I…. without fail would go and get a manicure every two weeks and my hair done once a month. I enjoyed every minute of it. I would always get funky designs and colours, it totally represented my spirit and life at the time, Wild and Free. They knew me there and it was always a treat. With my hair….. Well, I’ve been getting my hair done ever since I could talk and use the washroom on my own. And whether I liked it or not, My hair was getting done. So it became a habit and a way of life for any female of colour. I never really saw hair as being a self care regimen.

It was only when I had benched myself from life that I realized those things weren’t just treats and habits but were also essential to my sanity as a Mother and a human being.

Did you know you can tell a lot from a persons hair and scalp? You can find out what vitamins and nutrients a person is missing just by looking at their hair. Amazing! As soon as I declared it to my partner and the Universe that Mommy was taking back her life and consciously making an effort to make time for herself and selfcare. I found a hairdresser in the neighborhood who I am now great friends to help me along the way. I can’t lie though…. I was doing so well with the upkeep. It was like a year and a half of “All about ME!” and then… Well I’m not really sure what happened but my self care regimen wasn’t at all what it used to be. I wasn’t always getting my nails done and I began to try and squeeze an my appointment  whenever and wherever I could. I thought it got easier when the kids got older… It didn’t. LOL!

Before I knew it, my self care regimen became a chore. My 2 hour Mommy time of getting my nails done was no longer fun. I would look at the time constantly wondering when I would be done so I could go back to my job of being a Mom and working in my small business. I began fitting it into my busy schedule rather than make time for it. I can now look back and know that there was a moment when I stopped feeling relaxed about taking care of myself. I stopped feeling relaxed while getting my hair done. It became more of a hurry up type of feeling or a feeling of dread that I had to take time out of my busy schedule to make myself look proper. (Just went British for a moment.)

Note to self: Self care should never feel like a chore and should be a lifestyle.

I’m learning that to truly self care is to be present in the moment. To enjoy every moment of it down to each breath. So that you never miss a beat. Of course selfcare began to feel like a chore for me… I wasn’t even present in any of my activities and was looking at it as negative thing rather than a positive one. I was literally fitting it in like it was a job. Fast forward to my epiphany after getting sick… and perhaps the reason behind me getting sick. Well that and Germs. Lol!

I want to be in a space of complete presence. I want everyday to feel like a spa day, I know that it can’t but what I do know is, in that moment when my cup is beginning to feel a bit empty that I will consciously know when to self care and be present in that moment of love for myself because… Well…. I deserve it. I deserved it before and I still deserve it now, more than ever before.

life lessons, Messages from the Heart, Uncategorized

Know Thy Fu%king Self

Wow! what a title right? You know what’s funny?…. I’ve actually left the title blank just in case one of the kids wake up and come into the living room… They can read you know…LOL! and they’re nosy like all kids.

For some reason, I feel like my body is going through a metamorphosis of some kind. Like a combination of the Transformers meets Care Bears slash Jem and the Holograms. That fall season is creeping up. Summertime was fun but it’s time to go deeper within. In thought and in life, and the changing of the weather does that. Fall brings a sophistication to the whole changing of the seasons.

But….. Back to the title and why I chose it. I LOVE astrology charts and horoscopes, Tarot cards, you get the idea. I love anything that connects back to the centre of it all. So in my younger days, I took it very seriously and would hang off of every word that I read when it came to a psychic or a horoscope. It’s like I would wait to hear what my horoscope said to make the next move. It never got out of hand but I became very reliant on it for emotional purposes. Not reading everything in entirety and only taking the pieces that I wanted. Sometimes great things came about and other times…. well let’s just….

You should always pay attention to the entire picture. That way you won’t miss a thing.

Anyways, it became this journey to find out ME!….. That’s why I read the horoscopes and went to the psychic, who was amazing by the way. She was like a Grandma to me if only for a bit. She was small in stature, Scottish and her name was Doreen. She was a gift to the world. We will leave that story for another day as well.

The more I read about astrology and the horoscope for the Libra sign, the more I began to understand that I could navigate through this world with the help of the Universe. The Universe within me really.

So I was sent a website that gives you a free detailed astrology chart once you put in all your info. I wasn’t going to do it because one of the things that I’ve been working on is to really and I mean really have more faith in myself and my intuition. I’ve done one before and it’s pretty accurate and this one was no different.  To be honest, Since I’ve made a commitment to get to know myself more on a deeper level, it has made me realize that I really fucking know more about my self than I thought. Reading as much as I could of the chart (it is crazy long!) only solidified all the hidden parts of me that only I already knew was there… I was just keeping to myself.  Those who are close to me know the hidden side of me from time to time and even then, only You know You in the end.

By reading my traits and how I operate in the world, I realized that I have a lot to offer the world and that it’s my traits and personality that has gotten me this far and will get me through the rest of this journey with the help of the Universe of course.

Getting the time to get to know the Fuck out of Yourself is probably the most important thing you can do in life. Even if no one else can see the work you’re doing internally, know that it is just as important.

Note to self: You can’t use your gifts talents and abilities if you don’t know who you are.

Just an update, I have posted up the Flyers for my official independent 8 week yoga class. I’m feeling really confident about it….. I was going to say that I feel really good about it but confident yelled in my ear so I had to switch it up. It’s time to shine the light and help others shine their light too.

I’m not afraid of the dark anymore!

 

Uncategorized

Making Sense of it All

Wow!… Where to begin. To go all the way to the beginning would be a little much but would probably help me to understand why I am so committed to the term “Knowing Thy Self”.   Of course as a spiritual healer it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t tell you that everything is a little backwards right now because of the Retrograde happening  in outer space. For those who are not in the astrology loop, a retrograde is a great time to stop everything in its tracks and do three important things. Rest, Reflect and Relax. Sounds amazing doesn’t it? Well…. A retrograde doesn’t always work out that way. What normally happens is that it forces everything to stop dead in its tracks and then rewinds it, all to make sure that you got the message so that you don’t repeat it again.

In my opinion, Retrogrades are like a bully that keeps pushing you down even when you keep getting back up every single time. Now that my friend, is called resiliency.

Retrogrades have done a number on my life and it’s always been about the same thing…. Finances. I was never one to want to work for someone if it wasn’t making me feel fulfilled. I also still feel this up to  this day, that if I was dreading waking up and doing a job that I didn’t love then my life was for what?….If that makes any sense. I’ve had a dream ever since I was a little girl…. To give and receive as much love as possible in this life time.

I grew up in a family that showed little love if any. And I saw a lot of hard work that went into building a foundation off of materialistic items rather than healthy unapologetic LOVE. I can’t blame them… and maybe I can’t blame myself for the decision I’ve had to battle with.

After having my son who is now 12…. I knew the moment I laid eyes on him, I could never leave him in the care of not one single soul until he could speak for himself. I was supposed to go back to my job as a receptionist but I was just figuring this whole Mom thing out and just getting the hang of it. He brought so much joy and a surge of possibilities and wonders that I forgot was there. Besides, Daycare was and still is a mortgage payment. So with that I chose to stay home….

I went on to have two more kids, all of them three years apart. I worked part time here and there and every now and then would run into people who I thought had amazing jobs and lives,  going through University and whole bit  and they would say that they were unhappy. so how to make sense of it all….

I’ve never had much in terms of finances, even as a kid and I hated it! I hated not being able to go on trips around the world like all my friends, to go to Florida for March break. You get the gest of it. I still haven’t been to Disneyland and I’m pretty sure you can’t get to Disneyland on love alone…. Can you?

I’ve always dreamed of starting my own business spreading love and healing others because I know how difficult it is to heal on our own…. And when you’re a Mom where that child needs you for everything including it’s memories and happiness…Sigh!…It can feel like A LOT of pressure. I can confidently say that if I never took that night to just sit in silence on my balcony I would have never known the joy of meditation. If I never took that prenatal yoga class downtown, which I might add, I was super afraid to go to on my own but I did… I would have never known the true joy and  of the gentleness of my body and what it was capable of doing. Body, mind and spirit. It changed my life.

You know now that I think about it…. It was spirit all along guiding me back to me. I did what I said I was going to do which was to open a healing business. However business has been slow getting off the ground. Yoga could be more consistent and that comes down to me having more confidence in going out there and believing in my gifts and promoting myself.

So I’m not sure if the Universe trying to tell me to find the balance of working a full time job to create a stable foundation to continue to work of the Universe or is it that the stable foundation comes from healthy love and the rest is history. Just trust the process.

I’ve went to many of profound gifted people who have all said that I will have a business that will literally grow on its own.  So far so good in the Yoga department. That I will travel the world spreading positive vibes and love and that I will inspire many people in the process. In the core of my being, I believe that with all my heart. It’s a bit difficult to see the bigger picture when other obstacles get in the way though.

The truth is….. I don’t want to go back to work full time in the corporate world. I’ve worked so hard in not only finding my voice and building the confidence to achieve what I’ve achieved up to this point and those are amazing accomplishments in itself. It just feels like I’m giving up and taking the easy route or the safest one…. But I want a house with a backyard and I want to travel with my family and experience all the wonders of the world… AND… have the means to do it without having to choose or scrounge…. ALL while doing what you love!  Continue reading “Making Sense of it All”

Messages from the Heart

July 17th, 2018.

So I’m in the middle of a serious clean. My apartment and mind was a little in disarray. I’m the type of person who cleans in sections… to much for any person can be overwhelming. And I always attribute a cluttered space with a cluttered mind. Im not sure how it works but it works. I think it’s a visual thing and a definite energy thing as well. I am still process as we speak in making a lot more room in my head. I’m just taking a break.

Something happened yesterday that got me thinking. During my serious clean, my little one comes to me and says someone’s at the door. I was in such a zone that I wasn’t really down for any interruptions. I left my mind for a sec and went to see who it was. I’m in a little shock to see my neighbours daughter standing at my door looking tired and frail. She looked like she hadn’t eaten for days if not longer. and she’s only 19yrs old. She had come to ask me if I could clear some crystals that our neighbours had given her for healing. Crystals are amazing for that. I cleared them and she began talking. She’s going to bars with friends and drinking until she passes out. Sigh!…… I cleared her energy the best I could and left her with this because lord knows I love to help the broken spirits….

I said,

Only you can break the cycle that has been passed down to you through energy and DNA. No matter the cards you’ve been felt as a child, good or bad, you have to know deep down that if you had children, you would want the best for them. You would want them to have better life than you did… I’ve been there, we’ve all been there. I’m now in the position of breaking the cycle in my family by owning my own business….And that was me saying, “I want different for myself and for my kids”.

I left it like that and prayed that she left with something. When you think about it, it really is an internal battle. The spirit finding ways to cope with the spiritual scars of life…. even though the spirit is sensitive, its also very resilient. It’s when we put in the extra love that the spirit begins to wake up and remember… we were just to far removed and hurt to see. It all comes down to you.

As a reiki healer and an intuitive spiritual Counsellor, I would love to help others fall back in love with themselves. I am open to receiving new clients and new opportunities that allow me to express my gifts talents and abilities and share them with those who are interested. As I continue to grow in my practice so will the abundance in my life. I am grateful for the here and now and what is to come.

Just a little affirmation out into the Universe.