Body, Mind & Spirit, life lessons, Uncategorized

Just When You’re Getting The Hang Of It.

Its been an emotional couple of weeks since the kids went back to school. Other years I was prepared, like a veteran getting the routine down pat. This time however… Let’s just say I haven’t bounced back from the summer and am trying to catch up. I was sloth tired, not wanting to get out of bed and forcing my body to move at a pace that was just not nice, so my body was telling me. I was definitely not listening to what my body was telling me because I am currently laid up at home with a cold. I NEVER catch a cold and I have an immune system of 10 armies. My army of fighters clearly needed to rest and recoup.

Note: Our bodies will sometimes force us into resting by knocking us out a an illness. It’s the spirit asking for us to STOP and RESTORE.  

Stop everything that you are doing including your thoughts and allow the spirit to restore its self to a proper balance.

Like I was saying this was the first year, I hadn’t had my shit together for back to school. My mind was still on laying under the sun. Can you blame me? I guess as you go through life you forget that everyone is growing up and so are you. I look like I’m 19 years old even though I’m 36, soon to be 37. Let’s hear it for the 80’s babies. The simpler times before life became more intricate. Well we’re in 2018 now, and when you think you have it all figured out as a person, an entrepreneur and especially a Mom and suddenly realize wait a minute this is a whole new phase I wasn’t prepared for. We were doing the best we could as parents, cause that’s  really all you can do… We make sure to give them all the love that they deserve and they deserve it all, and to see our son struggle with anxiety, all while trying to find his way through this now intricate world that has been created. It broke our hearts.

It broke my heart because it took me so long to get over anxiety and heal in general. It took many days of meditation and healing practices that I now teach and administer to others. I am a Reiki healer and intuitive counselor and not forget a kids yoga teacher…. and for some reason I couldn’t help my son. After tossing his cookies one morning and breaking out in a rash to wanting to come home early and crying in the school washroom. That wasn’t like my Marcus at all. I went straight to the principal and explained that he had began experiencing anxiety the begging of summer due to a tree almost fall on him and his friends during a wind storm. It was enough to get him spooked and enough for it to carry over and never fully recover. Only magnifying it with the change from grade 6 to grade 7.

We set him up with someone to talk to every Tuesday at school… he seems to like that, and because he’s bored outside when his friends go out at lunch  he helps out in the office, which he likes and so do I. This is all with the hopes that he gains confidence and finally settles into this new change.

While being on Mom duty, which is a 24/7 job I might add, I was also dealing with my emotional self. Wondering why I was so emotional and caught in my feelings. My period had  just ended. I should feel a bounce back, which I normally do. This time, I was forgetting everything. Thy Gym keys yesterday, the girls went to school with no juice box, my keys to the apartment when I took the dog for a walk… I’m pretty sure the list goes on but I can’t even remember that. LOL!

It got me thinking though. You know, as to why I felt like mush and didn’t know my right to my left. For the first time in along time, I hadn’t a clue what the Fuck I was doing with my life and where it was going. I cancelled one of my classes permanently. I was rushing into a lot of things and making decisions out of frustration.  Sometimes when we are clumsy, it’s our spirit telling us to slow down. I can’t lie… I even went as far as to question if I was really healed from all the trauma I suffered growing up. Sigh! I am about to embark on a new project. One that I was sitting on for a long time and knowing that I would do it with this particular amazing woman, I call my friend and in the way that seems fitting through Indigenous traditions and culture. We will be facilitating a women’s group that will aid in healing trauma that can lead to anxiety. We will be getting funding towards this amazing opportunity…. So how can I reach these people if I don’t tell my story? being the quiet one who just listens.  I never thought that the things I experienced was even relevant or of any importance and so I buried it away. Only find to finds other ways to heal or reprogram my thoughts or even me for that matter. The only things is I every so often resort back to those thoughts of mistrust and fear of only being able to rely on myself when times are rough….. and that’s just no true.

So have I fully healed? I now know that healing takes time. it takes emotions to be felt and expressed in any way that allows your body, mind and spirit to breathe. The roots of your trauma can run deep, so deep that it touches your ancestors…. and if we don’t heal from the core and sever those old thoughts and beliefs than we will forever be coping. I’m tired of just coping… I WANT TO LIVE!!! And I want others to live as well.

In the next couple of weeks I will hopefully be meeting with an elder. I never had the opportunity to meet my grandparents in person, and have always had a fascination with the wise thoughts and presence that an older person brings to the table.

Well I look forward to getting back to the new Me! This is only the beginning of me diving deeper into the vault of my psyche…. Just when you’re getting the hang of it.

life lessons, Messages from the Heart, Uncategorized

Know Thy Fu%king Self

Wow! what a title right? You know what’s funny?…. I’ve actually left the title blank just in case one of the kids wake up and come into the living room… They can read you know…LOL! and they’re nosy like all kids.

For some reason, I feel like my body is going through a metamorphosis of some kind. Like a combination of the Transformers meets Care Bears slash Jem and the Holograms. That fall season is creeping up. Summertime was fun but it’s time to go deeper within. In thought and in life, and the changing of the weather does that. Fall brings a sophistication to the whole changing of the seasons.

But….. Back to the title and why I chose it. I LOVE astrology charts and horoscopes, Tarot cards, you get the idea. I love anything that connects back to the centre of it all. So in my younger days, I took it very seriously and would hang off of every word that I read when it came to a psychic or a horoscope. It’s like I would wait to hear what my horoscope said to make the next move. It never got out of hand but I became very reliant on it for emotional purposes. Not reading everything in entirety and only taking the pieces that I wanted. Sometimes great things came about and other times…. well let’s just….

You should always pay attention to the entire picture. That way you won’t miss a thing.

Anyways, it became this journey to find out ME!….. That’s why I read the horoscopes and went to the psychic, who was amazing by the way. She was like a Grandma to me if only for a bit. She was small in stature, Scottish and her name was Doreen. She was a gift to the world. We will leave that story for another day as well.

The more I read about astrology and the horoscope for the Libra sign, the more I began to understand that I could navigate through this world with the help of the Universe. The Universe within me really.

So I was sent a website that gives you a free detailed astrology chart once you put in all your info. I wasn’t going to do it because one of the things that I’ve been working on is to really and I mean really have more faith in myself and my intuition. I’ve done one before and it’s pretty accurate and this one was no different.  To be honest, Since I’ve made a commitment to get to know myself more on a deeper level, it has made me realize that I really fucking know more about my self than I thought. Reading as much as I could of the chart (it is crazy long!) only solidified all the hidden parts of me that only I already knew was there… I was just keeping to myself.  Those who are close to me know the hidden side of me from time to time and even then, only You know You in the end.

By reading my traits and how I operate in the world, I realized that I have a lot to offer the world and that it’s my traits and personality that has gotten me this far and will get me through the rest of this journey with the help of the Universe of course.

Getting the time to get to know the Fuck out of Yourself is probably the most important thing you can do in life. Even if no one else can see the work you’re doing internally, know that it is just as important.

Note to self: You can’t use your gifts talents and abilities if you don’t know who you are.

Just an update, I have posted up the Flyers for my official independent 8 week yoga class. I’m feeling really confident about it….. I was going to say that I feel really good about it but confident yelled in my ear so I had to switch it up. It’s time to shine the light and help others shine their light too.

I’m not afraid of the dark anymore!

 

Uncategorized

Messages from Aunt Flow

It’s a Sunday afternoon and after having a not so great sleep, I woke up to Miss Aunt Flow this morning. Ladies, have you have had this moment where you feel this intense feeling of emotion that connects with you on some deep spiritual level, making you feel that your spiritual posse has some serious important message to divulge to you?… only to realize that it was just your period making you feel all types of ways?…and of course you can never decode the message.  I always feel like some High Priestess ready to spread deep knowledge to the world around that time of the month. Men take note; you can learn a lot from this. LOL!

Anyway now that I’m not all the way in my feelings and my emotions are not all over the place, I figured I would give myself some time to write. The kids are playing quietly with their friends after jumping around a hot ass gym for a bit. I clean a gym part time so that I can continue to live out my passion and see my dreams come true. A lot more work than I anticipated but worth it.

I have made a pack to release old thoughts and habits and replace them with positive encouragements and healthy habits. I’m beginning to realize that I have a duty to this body that I was born into and I want to see it shine in every way possible.

Note to self: Our spirit never wants to see us struggling or out of sorts. Its kind of like even though our bodies and spirits are one with each other, it still has a way of taking us off track every now then just to remind us of how it feels to be a hot mess. Cause we sure know no one out there likes to be a hot mess and misaligned with life.

Good question…. What are ways that you bounce back when you feel out of wack? and are you able to recognize when you are out of wack?

I know when it’s time to realign myself when I become like Tony Montana from Scarface… Just kidding…but I can get irritable when I’m emotionally off. This whole thing of feeling like a hermit has forced me to easily slip in and out of meditation. It feels pretty nice considering that has always been something that’s been hard for me to fully attain.

Higher Self: Meditation is not something that is attainable. It’s just something that always is.

Meaning Silence is always there…. Sometimes meditation can just sit above the surface, because our minds are so active that it actually takes longer for it to completely rest and be still. Leaving us to never fully deepen our conscious experience.

It’s kind of like the eclipse season is bringing us back to our source. The beginning of the beginning. You know what I’m talking about, Atlantis and the planet Sirius? The Mermaids, dragons and avatars?….  There was a time when everything lived in harmonious love. Remember?… If not, I’ll have to leave it for another blog session. It’s Actually one of my favourite memories that helped me to heal in a lot more ways than I even knew it would.

Great news!… I’ve sealed the deal with teaching yoga at the gym, starting in the Fall… Yeah ME!… I’ve also realized my worth and will be charging just a little under the going rate here in Toronto. Looking forward to teaching and generating more income from  what I love to do. Anyway off to take the kids to the park and tire them out hopefully.

FYI: As a parent, my favourite time of the day is bedtime…. LOL!

 

 

Body, Mind & Spirit, life lessons, Uncategorized

Follow Up

It’s raining Cats and Dogs out here in Toronto. We needed it… We’ve had an amazing yet summer. Not complaining about it at all… Just means more time at the beach or pool side. It is August. So after taking time to make sense of it all, I realized I still have a lot of love to give back to my inner child. You know ever since completing the Reiki level three to become a Reiki Master. It has been a beautiful and interesting transformation all at the same time. It’s been gradual and quiet, all done behind the scenes but showcased through my actions. Some of it even catching me by surprise. sigh! It still feels like I have long way to go and it all starts and ends with me. Me stepping out of my comfort zone and taking chances and having faith that everything will work out….

I went out of my comfort zone and began selling myself once again. I asked two facilities if there was space available, both sounded like they were on board. I always feel like a little girl asking if she could have a cookie before dinner… always anticipating a no answer but asking anyways. SMH! I guess growing up in a household where there was a lot of physical and verbal abuse, as child the last thing you wanted to do was ask for anything let alone talk back. I did that to keep me safe, because I believed and still do sometimes that no one has your best interest at hand but you, and your spirit knows that or it wouldn’t have protected me my entire life.

I plan on seeing a space today at 7pm and the other gym should be automatically a go…It’s my daughters Gymnastics club. I feel like Kevin Costner in Field of Dreams… “If You build it, They will come.” I am currently teaching kids yoga through the District school board and that’s been working out nicely but I need to get my hustle on if I want to make this my full time. I want to widen my audience and normally when I teach the kids, the parents or the guardian always ask if I teach elsewhere. So I figured why not. If I create the class, surely people will come. I’m giving myself some mental time and not starting until the fall… I feel like that gives me enough time to spread the word. Praying to the Gods that this helps the shift in my career.

What are ways that you’re helping the shift occur in your life? Are you like me and stepping out of your comfort zone in order to achieve results? I would love to hear your thoughts.

If you live in Toronto, Canada and are in the Greater Toronto Area, Keep an eye out for my yoga classes and for the rest, my healing services are always available.

Go to www.righteoussun.co

Some have said that it works better in Google Chrome but I have explorer and it works just the same. Please let me know if you experience trouble.

Uncategorized

Making Sense of it All

Wow!… Where to begin. To go all the way to the beginning would be a little much but would probably help me to understand why I am so committed to the term “Knowing Thy Self”.   Of course as a spiritual healer it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t tell you that everything is a little backwards right now because of the Retrograde happening  in outer space. For those who are not in the astrology loop, a retrograde is a great time to stop everything in its tracks and do three important things. Rest, Reflect and Relax. Sounds amazing doesn’t it? Well…. A retrograde doesn’t always work out that way. What normally happens is that it forces everything to stop dead in its tracks and then rewinds it, all to make sure that you got the message so that you don’t repeat it again.

In my opinion, Retrogrades are like a bully that keeps pushing you down even when you keep getting back up every single time. Now that my friend, is called resiliency.

Retrogrades have done a number on my life and it’s always been about the same thing…. Finances. I was never one to want to work for someone if it wasn’t making me feel fulfilled. I also still feel this up to  this day, that if I was dreading waking up and doing a job that I didn’t love then my life was for what?….If that makes any sense. I’ve had a dream ever since I was a little girl…. To give and receive as much love as possible in this life time.

I grew up in a family that showed little love if any. And I saw a lot of hard work that went into building a foundation off of materialistic items rather than healthy unapologetic LOVE. I can’t blame them… and maybe I can’t blame myself for the decision I’ve had to battle with.

After having my son who is now 12…. I knew the moment I laid eyes on him, I could never leave him in the care of not one single soul until he could speak for himself. I was supposed to go back to my job as a receptionist but I was just figuring this whole Mom thing out and just getting the hang of it. He brought so much joy and a surge of possibilities and wonders that I forgot was there. Besides, Daycare was and still is a mortgage payment. So with that I chose to stay home….

I went on to have two more kids, all of them three years apart. I worked part time here and there and every now and then would run into people who I thought had amazing jobs and lives,  going through University and whole bit  and they would say that they were unhappy. so how to make sense of it all….

I’ve never had much in terms of finances, even as a kid and I hated it! I hated not being able to go on trips around the world like all my friends, to go to Florida for March break. You get the gest of it. I still haven’t been to Disneyland and I’m pretty sure you can’t get to Disneyland on love alone…. Can you?

I’ve always dreamed of starting my own business spreading love and healing others because I know how difficult it is to heal on our own…. And when you’re a Mom where that child needs you for everything including it’s memories and happiness…Sigh!…It can feel like A LOT of pressure. I can confidently say that if I never took that night to just sit in silence on my balcony I would have never known the joy of meditation. If I never took that prenatal yoga class downtown, which I might add, I was super afraid to go to on my own but I did… I would have never known the true joy and  of the gentleness of my body and what it was capable of doing. Body, mind and spirit. It changed my life.

You know now that I think about it…. It was spirit all along guiding me back to me. I did what I said I was going to do which was to open a healing business. However business has been slow getting off the ground. Yoga could be more consistent and that comes down to me having more confidence in going out there and believing in my gifts and promoting myself.

So I’m not sure if the Universe trying to tell me to find the balance of working a full time job to create a stable foundation to continue to work of the Universe or is it that the stable foundation comes from healthy love and the rest is history. Just trust the process.

I’ve went to many of profound gifted people who have all said that I will have a business that will literally grow on its own.  So far so good in the Yoga department. That I will travel the world spreading positive vibes and love and that I will inspire many people in the process. In the core of my being, I believe that with all my heart. It’s a bit difficult to see the bigger picture when other obstacles get in the way though.

The truth is….. I don’t want to go back to work full time in the corporate world. I’ve worked so hard in not only finding my voice and building the confidence to achieve what I’ve achieved up to this point and those are amazing accomplishments in itself. It just feels like I’m giving up and taking the easy route or the safest one…. But I want a house with a backyard and I want to travel with my family and experience all the wonders of the world… AND… have the means to do it without having to choose or scrounge…. ALL while doing what you love!  Continue reading “Making Sense of it All”

Messages from the Heart

July 17th, 2018.

So I’m in the middle of a serious clean. My apartment and mind was a little in disarray. I’m the type of person who cleans in sections… to much for any person can be overwhelming. And I always attribute a cluttered space with a cluttered mind. Im not sure how it works but it works. I think it’s a visual thing and a definite energy thing as well. I am still process as we speak in making a lot more room in my head. I’m just taking a break.

Something happened yesterday that got me thinking. During my serious clean, my little one comes to me and says someone’s at the door. I was in such a zone that I wasn’t really down for any interruptions. I left my mind for a sec and went to see who it was. I’m in a little shock to see my neighbours daughter standing at my door looking tired and frail. She looked like she hadn’t eaten for days if not longer. and she’s only 19yrs old. She had come to ask me if I could clear some crystals that our neighbours had given her for healing. Crystals are amazing for that. I cleared them and she began talking. She’s going to bars with friends and drinking until she passes out. Sigh!…… I cleared her energy the best I could and left her with this because lord knows I love to help the broken spirits….

I said,

Only you can break the cycle that has been passed down to you through energy and DNA. No matter the cards you’ve been felt as a child, good or bad, you have to know deep down that if you had children, you would want the best for them. You would want them to have better life than you did… I’ve been there, we’ve all been there. I’m now in the position of breaking the cycle in my family by owning my own business….And that was me saying, “I want different for myself and for my kids”.

I left it like that and prayed that she left with something. When you think about it, it really is an internal battle. The spirit finding ways to cope with the spiritual scars of life…. even though the spirit is sensitive, its also very resilient. It’s when we put in the extra love that the spirit begins to wake up and remember… we were just to far removed and hurt to see. It all comes down to you.

As a reiki healer and an intuitive spiritual Counsellor, I would love to help others fall back in love with themselves. I am open to receiving new clients and new opportunities that allow me to express my gifts talents and abilities and share them with those who are interested. As I continue to grow in my practice so will the abundance in my life. I am grateful for the here and now and what is to come.

Just a little affirmation out into the Universe.

Messages from the Heart

July, 16th, 2018

Ok…. I’m literally on the toilet typing this. (Way too much info)…lol!…. but I’m on the verge of serious change and it’s like my spiritual posse needs me to document it..ok, I need to document for more piece of mind. I also just need to her out of my comfort zone in regards to using the voice that was given to me. You know it’s like I have a million thoughts running through my head at any given moment that I find it hard to formulate those feel goods that get me through the day. I always get amazing message from my posse to get me through the day and I’m always like… I’m going to forget it in about 5 min. I am a Mom you know…. if three, so that means 3 times less the memory.

I’m hoping the more I write the more I will open up in my creativity and I’m just being dedicated to myself. A dedication of no longer being afraid of my words and their impact because it’s for me first… (No offence) ugh!… there I go again. I’ve gotten as far as starting my own business which is slowly becoming successful in its own right… you know when you’ve been looking for a platform to work from and the whole time it’s You!… EPIPHANY!!!… I’m working on and from my own platform. I just need to make sure I nurture my roots to make me stronger and secure in who I am and what I do. Isn’t that crazy?… my platform is supportive and loving and always giving positive feedback. I’ve been searching for a unique platform to come and sweep me off my feet to hall me catapult my life in all honesty and the reality is… I need to work on the platform that was given to to reconstruct… I’ve always loved renovations, but who likes to be in the middle of it… we all just want to see and live in the end result.. it obvi takes work.

They say that a Womens cervix is made out of the same tissue as your cervical spine.. when one is open the other opens as well. This is why during an orgasm a women is more likely to become more vocal. It also means though, that if you’ve experienced trauma in that region or are not rooted in You then you’re more likely not to use your voice. You can learn a lot from social media.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure my thoughts went in three different places…. but the summary is still the same… I’ve learned a little bit more about myself… which only helps you to grow more.

Until next time…the kids are still sleeping and will enjoy this peace and quiet for a little longer. Until next time.