Now I’m no expert in parenting but going to an event that I was already hesitant to go to but for some reason decided to stop in got me thinking really hard… I mean some real food for thought.

The event was in honour of people of colour for Black history month a friend of mine had invited me and so I thought I don’t think I’ve ever really honoured my blackness in public with other people of colour so why not go. The speaker was someone very influential. So I guess I wanted to hear how this woman got to where she was today all while being a mother. When the question was finally raised about motherhood and how she had navigated through all of her rise to success all while being a single mom her response was this, “it was all a blur” which would explain a lot.

You see I don’t know this speaker personally but I do know of her daughter and I know that in someways her Mother’s success affected her In many ways then one and that’s what got me thinking…. even though she is very successful in her career the parenting piece was all a blur. What I’m saying is I don’t want my parenting and my time with my kids to be a blur because I was so driven towards my own success. We can find success in so many different things we can find success in the big things as well as the little things and sometimes the success that we do find is really those happy times and those connected moments with the ones we love.

Even as women of colour there is always this hardness behind us that’s more along the lines of ‘suck it up butter cup’, as oppose to the gentle nurturer. I can attest by my own mother and how she navigated through her career and being a Mom. Now that I’m a Mom, I can understand where they were coming from. They were single Moms who were really living in survival mode for themselves and most importantly for their children and so they did what ever they had to, to get to that next level, even if it meant that the kids wouldn’t get the gentle Motherly type.

So the question is how can we as parents nurture our success and our children’s success at the same time?….

These are some of the tools I’ve learned and continue to apply to my life and my family life.

1) in order to nurture the success of your children you first have to find out what they love… as a Mom I have always paid attention to the interest of my kids. My son loves science and nature and so we try and find activities that foster his interests.

My middle one loves gymnastics and is a natural and my little loves music and so I’m slowly moving her in that direction because that’s what she loves. Now of course as a parent I had different plans but when the Universe shows you the joy that comes out of it when they do what they love that my friends is success.

2) prioritize your time as a Mom and as a career driven woman. Sometimes we feel we can only do one but not both. When you’re running your business and trying to get it off the ground, the down time is very limited but that doesn’t mean that you can’t set aside down time for the people you love. Create a schedule that works and remember to add in DOWN TIME!

3) Be self aware… as parents we have a tendency of not being aware of the effects we have on our kids. We can be so focused in the success and the end result that we can sometimes have blinders on forgetting our kids needs which could just be them wanting Mommy time. Make sure we’re spreading the knowledge of where happiness really comes from. Not from the late nights at the office, but from those special moments we have with the people we love.

Well this morning went off as good as it possibly could. I mean I could have stayed in bed all day but morning called. Bonus was I was up before the children after the sleep over. The girls didn’t go to bed until 12:30am which means I didn’t actually go to bed until 1 in the morning. Anyways, My spiritual posse has been calling on me to pay attention, probably because I’ve had a lot on my mind. I pulled an amazing spread that spoke to me on so many levels.

As much about I’m always writing about how to navigate through the treacherous waters of life with love on your side, I’m still this littler girl with Big Dreams. I’ve always dreamt of owning my own business for as long as I could remember, I would play in my room as if it was my office, processing paperwork, all while looking after my baby doll. It was a cabbage patch kid. I’ve never thought I would do anything else. I could never quite put my finger on what the business would be but it was all mine. After having my son I couldn’t quite see myself not staying home to raise him. I also thought it was a good opportunity for me to start my dream business… Whatever that was. Now I’m very creative and am always wanting to invent and reinventing. I also never give up. I have had a lot of different people not believe in me, and honestly though I would make it. It just gave me more of a reason to work harder to prove to myself and to everyone else that dreams do come true.

So to be honest, I’ve been through many start ups and only just getting it off the shelf, only to put the dream back on the shelf. Frustrating of course. I’ve always let fear get to me. Fear of failing and having people tell me I told you so or this fear that I end up working this horrible desk job that pays a lot of money but makes me super miserable. All the woman in my life have worked great jobs but were never happy. So I thought if  did what they did, I would never have the opportunity to find out what makes me happy.  I think I finally figured it out. What makes me happy is ME!. Working on the unknown does for sure stress me out. I mean I do have to navigate between being a mom and being a business owner. Your time is always split, and both jobs are 24/7. But working on the unknown excites me. It makes me realize that I have a lot faith in myself or I wouldn’t keep getting back up again.

The tarot cards that I pulled were so accurate. Projects are fruitful, Faith and Confidence are high and will continue to rise. I need to stay focused AF and all will be well. I have to say, although my computer was giving me a mild heart attack earlier during the day due to all these software updates for 2019. Ugh!. Just when I’m trying to set 2019 off right. I guess it’s just a reminder that anything can happen during this process. I’m sure I’ll have a lot more to share.

Well before I head off to bed…. Yesterday was the first launch of Righteous Sun website out to the social media crowd. I kept it quiet to my Fam. I actually kept it quiet with almost everyone. I didn’t want the distractions, and I also second guess myself. This project feels different then the others. Maybe because for the first time it’s for me. Most of the other projects were for other people. Whether it was for my kids creating kids accessories for them or me giving a healing to others who were in need. This one just feels different. It makes me nervous as hell but I’m taking it all in stride. BTW… The launch is my online cosmetic and skin care Boutique. My goal is to provide people with all natural vegan friendly cruelty free cosmetics and skin care for the everyday and play!… You like those play on words?… Lol!

Ok Its getting late. I’m putting out there that I will be making $60,000 plus by the end of 2019. Big Dreams I guess… But Why Not?

Ok guys!… When is enough in your books? I mean what is your breaking point in terms of reaching your limit?… I am currently in the process of moving my kids to school that is a lot safer and with like minded people. When I moved into my neighborhood, I was in transition. I matched perfectly with my neighborhood and what the current issues are. constantly in fight or Flight mode. I began learning and healing and eventually growing and transforming out of the trauma. It was like it no longer served my purpose. I had healed and moved on. I allowed my kids to stay at a school where it was obviously unsafe but I couldn’t see that because I was in the same transition as them. I want to say,’ How could I be so blind but when you wake up, its not all at once, its in stages.  Right? I’ve grown in stages and I am about to complete a phase in my life. No more Fight or Flight mode. I’m in living mode for myself and my family.

So how do you now you’ve reached the end of a phase?….

You’re reaction to the same situation is different this time. it’s like you no longer have time for the same story and feelings that comes along with it. You can now recognize how it makes you feel and quickly create boundaries to protect yourself.

You will feel like you’ve reached the end of a chapter. A completion and possibly a resolution that was never quite there until now. If we’re lucky, it can occur around a your Birthday or New Years. Those are endings and beginning kind of moments.

If you’re not already hanging out with like minded people…. You will!… the old you can’t fuck around with the same energy… I remember hearing someone say, “I’ll still fuck with you but I won’t stay stuck with you. Words to live by. Even then, be careful who you continue to hang with. If they aren’t for the greater good of you and the process then it’s time to level up to people who match your vibration.

As we get ready to end 2018 and move on to 2019. 2+1+9= 12 and twelve means completions. 2018 was and is about our dreams and desires and making them known to the Universe and 2019 is all about putting them into practice and watching them flourish.

It feels nice to let go and move on and I look forward to the continued growth that I’m committed to.

Affirmation: I AM OPEN TO ALL THE POSITIVITY THAT THE UNIVERSE HAS TO OFFER

Make a commitment.

To yourself

To the process

To the ups and the downs

A commitment to growth

And transformation

LIBERATION!!!

Righteous Sun

I had a conversation with a friend the other day and we got on to the topic of commitment. What does it mean to truly be committed? And is putting a ring on it actually mean that the man is committed to you?

Let’s get into it…. Some women feel that if their significant other puts a ring on it, it means that they are taking the next step to commitment. However, some men feel that if I have kids with you and living with you then I’m committed and you don’t need a ring.

What are your thoughts?

I said commitment means more to me than just a ring on my finger. If you’re that type of person that is into the symbolism of a ring, then putting a ring on it  means that you’re committing to every piece of that person. The good and the stuff we’re still working through…. Now I’m committed to learning about myself and how I interact with my partner. I’m committed to being patient as he grows and transforms as an individual and as a partner. (Because you have to do both in order for any relationship to last.) We have to be committed to change in and outside ourselves because as we know, no one and nothing  stays the same.

Now just because you get a ring, that doesn’t mean the person is fully committed. How do you know if someone is committed?… Real Simple…

They are committed to themselves first and foremost. Now you’re probably thinking, wait! committed to just themselves?… Isn’t that a little selfish?… It’s not when that person is committing to being the best they can be for themselves and for the person they are involved with. That means growing in every possible way for the greater good.

To make a commitment means that you place value on the person you and who you are becoming. To take it one step further, once you realize that there is no separation between who you are and who you are becoming… Well then…. You are on your way, if not already there. Remember we are universal. We are past, present and Future all in one.

So what now?…. We begin by taking  baby steps towards a commitment to yourself and to the whole process. I love using my screensavers on my laptop and phone for inspirational quotes and affirmations. You use your electronics all the time, so you might as well benefit from them in a way that can remind your spirit who they are and why they’re here.

Another tip that can help in the process is to commit to one day a month of pampering yourself. Just for you. I know it’s getting cold outside if you live in the colder climates, so drop the kids off for a play date and spend the day at home… not cleaning but pampering yourself. I love nice hot baths with essential calming oils that will soothe. Light some candles and VOILA! oh yes!… We can’t forget that favourite bottle of wine. Making a commitment to yourself means that you have to be consistent. So never say that you don’t have time for you… You should always have time for you! The Universe made a commitment to you the day you were born and that my friends is a commitment that will last a lifetime!

Affirmation: I AM COMMITTED TO MYSELF AND THE PROCESS AS A WHOLE.

I’m fighting for my inner child who never said a word

I’m writing for the inner child whose words might have gone unheard

For the inner child whose vision of what love really is, was blurred

I will Love You

I will protect You

I will honour You

And will be there for all your breakthroughs.

Righteous Sun

Sometimes, we forget that our inner child is still with us and has never really left. It’s just that we grow up. We grow up and think that what’s in the past is in the past. That we should be over anything that happened to us as a child. Sometimes the memories as a child could have been so rough, that we even force ourselves to forget but have vague memories of all the good that occurred in our lives as kids if any.

What we need to do is call out to that inner child that still comes around when we are reminded of the unpleasantry of our past. When we really haven’t healed those things from our childhood but have found ways to cope.

I’ve learned that even though some parts of my childhood sucked, there were positive things that I’ve taken with me. Things that have always been there and sum up who I AM and who I’m meant to be. I remember someone saying to me, “Invite your inner child to come along for the ride.” See, your inner child might be scared at first but it’s ok, just take them by the hand and reassure them that they are safe. I mean, you can’t have one without the other. You need your inner child for play…. And you have to admit it’s just as fun being an adult as it is being a kid, if you play you cards right!

So in those moments when the adult in you is wanting to take that chance or make that move but is ultimately frozen in fear, just tell your inner child that everything will be ok and that you can’t do it without them.

Inner Child is imagination. It is Resiliency. The ability to look at things with wonder and awww. Most of all it is the ability to grow and transform.

Today’s Affirmation is: I am gentle to my inner child as we uncover and release the old for the new.

Well, it’s a learning process for sure when it comes to running a small business. I felt like I have dived a lot deeper than before, and the Universe is telling me to Woman up. Sigh! My finances are currently in hot water. “I AM PROSPEROUS” and I am being forced to make a lot of changes in my life in order to accommodate where my spirit currently is. Which in my opinion is light years ahead. So I have to keep up in more ways than one.

Over the summer I was battling with myself over getting a full time day job or sticking with my small business. I have an accepted partnership with the Toronto District School Board. Now what you need to know is that I had many proposals to many organizations, all of them being rejected except for one. The TDSB. I always wanted to be a kindergarten teacher, and after volunteering in my child school, I really wanted to make a difference and get paid.  So they accepted my proposal and got to work right away from January to June. The income became scarce once school was out for the summer and that’s when I got to thinking. When you have kids, it becomes tough to just do side hustle jobs like cleaning or working at the casino which all pays well by the way, it’s just that it’s a monthly income rather than every two weeks and it’s part time. I have a responsibility to provide for my kids and sometimes the best thing to do is to work a full day job and teach classes at night. Just a thought….You know, An easier way to supplement what I love to do. I also feel like I’m being impatient with the process. It would be nice to have fast results, especially when it comes to providing for my kids.

I spoke with a small business consultant and she basically said if I wasn’t making my small business my everything and contemplating going back to a full time job than I should just quit all together and that running a business wasn’t up my alley. She also thought I got a bad deal with my the school contract and told me I should get out of it as soon as possible. Kind of tough for me to hear that considering everything I worked hard to achieve and achieved most of them. Gary Vee, the motivational speaker says that there will be a lot of people that will give you advice. Just remember that most of them will be giving advice based on their own experiences which will be biased and might not have your best interest at hand. In my opinion I thought I did the best I could with the knowledge I had when signing the contract.

The consultant was a little biased, but she did say some valuable things…

  • Always make contracts work for you. Meaning you don’t have to sign the first contract that is put in front of you. Tweak it until it works for you. There is no harm in changing a contract until it suits you and all parties involved. But most You.
  • Know Your Worth. I am guilty of this one. Feeling like your gifts, talents and skills are not up to par with the rest. Go back and look at all your skill levels, I’m sure you’ll be pleasantly surprised with how much you have accomplished and all the gifts that you possess. If you feel like you haven’t accomplished much?… Be gentle with yourself and level up! take some weekend courses if you can go the library or to your closest book store! They have great learning material that can educate and inspire you. Any way to add value to yourself is a plus. And when you feel worthy about yourself, others will to.
  • Set realistic goals and expectations. Sometimes we have so many amazing ideas and we have no idea how to put all of them into action, let alone one into action. That’s why it is important to set real life goals. Write down your thoughts and ideas are so important because its like the next step before execution. Trying the idea out in the real world to see if it works or not. Now your expectations should always exceed beyond compare but please remember that its ok to be gentle with yourself if you don’t exceed it right away. There will be times….. When you won’t succeed on the first try. Never give up! and take it one step at a time so that you don’t repeat the same pattern and you find different routes. A door will eventually open.

Last but not least…

BE CONFIDENT! Never be afraid to ask for what you want and be confident in your dreams. Really believe and have faith in yourself and in the universe that things will always be provided for you and your family. Have faith in you ability to succeed, have faith in your gifts and use them with GUSTO! When you really get to know yourself, the confidence begins to grow within you because your getting comfortable in your skin and you’re allowing for spirit to take over. What a blessing!

I’ve realized once again that my passion and purpose must be done in this lifetime and it’s all life lessons. So I’m going to be gentle with myself during this process and not force things into existence due to fear. Ground yourself! to allow for sound decisions to be made and silence yourself for answers to come freely.