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Adulting

I’m on the phone with my coach. It was fate, because earlier in the morning I had a vision that we were having a conversation about my life and what was next for me when it came to my business. I have changed my mind so many times when it comes to starting a business. I have started a clothing business, I became a motivational speaker and a yoga teacher. At one point I started carrying a vegan friendly makeup line…. I’ve done it all.

What I haven’t done is commit to either of them. I have always said to myself that I have nothing of material wealth to give but myself. The question was, “What do you have to offer?”. What a question…Right1… She always gets me to go deeper in my thoughts. Almost gets me choked up like she was sent from another planet to watch over me.

This full moon eclipse that was yesterday is obviously playing a huge role in my life. bringing up all the things that we really don’t want to acknowledge about ourselves. The truth that sometimes can hold us back from our destiny. So, I’ve decided to take a good look in the mirror…

I going to admit that I am definitely a bit of a turtle. Slow at times… Perhaps, I’m being modest. I fluctuate from task to task seeing how much I can fit into my schedule. All feeling like I never get much done.

A successful business depends on your love and passion for it.

And perhaps that successful business depends on the love and passion that I give to myself internally, rather then externally. She said it seems like I depend on external validation more that anything. Which was a hard pill to swallow.

I also think that sometimes we move slow in silence or never commit to the things we care about out of fear. Yup!, I said it! Fear! I have this fear of failure but now that I think about it I’m only failing myself. When fear gets in the way it paralyzes you from doing what your meant to do in life or in that particular situation, no matter what it happens to be.

In my mind, I have always in the background, just waiting to break free, but have been to shy to some out of my shell. However, I’m older now and its true what they say, there’s no time like the present.

To be self employed means that you treat your life like a business. You are the boss and the employee. So it’s all or nothing. it’s time to commit to this relationship whole heartedly . No more excuses for this adult. Just a disclaimer, I have only really felt like an adult about year and half ago. I wanted to say two years but even then I can honestly say that was just the beginning.

I’m 37 but look like I’m 16. I’m 5’1 but that has never stopped anyone my height from becoming successful. Mariah Carey for instance…. Need I say more.

I think figuring out my life has been a hobby until now. I have explored many things that has allowed me to grow into the person I am today. YOLO! should me the key to everyone’s life.

so to catch you up on my adulting experience, I had a one on one coaching session with a very successful entrepreneur. She gave me some amazing tips on making my business visual and viable. I invested in myself in ways that will help not only my business grow but myself as well.

Once I took me seriously, I received an opportunity to sell my merchandise in a mall as a pop up. I created Aries Collection! a baby and toddler clothing store. I create baby and kids accessories and clothes.  Now, I’m not sure how this mall found me but the Universe will always bless you with what is meant for you.

My life isn’t a hobby but a 24/7 career. I have to learn how to navigate being a Mom to three kids, being a partner to the love of my life and being a boss to my business. Adulting at its finest.

I know I’m not the only one who still wants wake up late, hit patios all summer and eat all day and stay up until the wee hours drinking with their friends.

 

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When Doors Begin to Open

My spirit guides always tell me to write… So here it goes. Ever since I could remember I either wanted to dance or own my own business. I’m the type of person that can’t stick to one project and when the urge hits to try something new…. I’m the first one to the line. Now granted they all haven’t been very successful, I think it’s because I never dedicated myself to one thing…Boredom always catches up with me. Like right now…I’m ready to close the laptop and go rest but It’s clear that getting things off your chest is very valuable to one’s well being. Like a release.

Procrastination and fear of judgement always lingers. Well I procrastinate because of the fear… but that will just take me on a whole other thought so lets stick to this one for now, cause it seems like I’m on a role now with my words as I type away on the key board in peace. Kids are occupied.

As a libra, I dabbled in anything that peaked my interest and brought me joy. What of course didn’t bring me joy but brought me a consistent pay check was the jobs that I either quit or got fired from.

Sorry I lost my train if though due to a child interruption. She needed a snack. What was I saying again?… Oh right! Experimenting with different projects. Although some saw it as just as hobby, I saw it as a learning process. A chance to grow through experience on a very personal level. I can’t lie, I’ve done some serious work on my internal makeup that only now am I starting to see the magic happen on the physical level…. And I’m loving every minute of it. I can’t lie, It makes me feel a bit nervous, like your shedding the old vulnerable you and emerging into a real adult. Hahahahaha! Someone who owns their choices and walks in faith that they as well as their family will always be take care of.

Anyway… back to the story, I told you I can lose my train of thought. I started Aries Collection in 2010 as just an idea. Aries was named after my son’s middle name, and it would a collection of items that were cute and put a smile on my face. It was after I had my son who will soon be 13. Back then, even though it wasn’t that long ago, there were very few selection in terms of boys clothes out on the market. The girls clothes was saturated with a cute variety, and I wanted to change that. I would draw at night on pieces of paper but eventually nothing came of it, circumstances arose and I’m sure I got distracted. I left the concept alone and went on with being a Mom to my son and soon to be second child. A girl who is now 9 and 3 years after that, another girl who is now 6.

It was when I had my third that I returned back to Aries Collection. People thought my daughter was a boy so I decided to make headbands for her and people stared to really take a liking for them. I began creating and selling and the Moms just ate it up. I mean, who could blame them, right? I began to create a small following and it finally felt good to do what I love to do which was to create. Eventually the finances became a little stressful and the business had to be put on hold… The numerous websites and creative work all had to be put on a hold, I think to find out whether or I was ready. I truly believe that the Universe gives you what you need when you’re spiritually ready. That means cleaning out all the cob webs of the past and recreating new thoughts and patterns for the future. You know the adulting stuff… Bringing all my hopes dreams and imagination of my childhood to the forefront of my reality.

Am I rambling yet or am I staying on track?…. Years later, I’m still healing and becoming more clear about my intentions and what I really want for the future of myself and my family. After Losing my beloved chocolate lab of 14 years as well as having a miscarriage all in the beginning of the 2019. I know right?… I realized that it was important for me to get my physical level in order. Mentally, spiritually and emotionally was really coming together but the Universe was asking for me to join the party and to physically raise my energy. I started to get real with myself by making a schedule for myself and committed to the growth of my business. I started stepping out of my comfort zone by participating in different events and markets. Way out of my comfort zone but well worth it. I remember this little voice in my head that said if you only make a little money from your sales, just know that you’ll get a lot more out of it then you might think…. And I did.

Weeks before I had asked the Universe to open the doors for to meet like minded people who would believe in my business and who would support me just on the basis of merit. I couldn’t pay them anything but they wanted to be a part of the journey. Well like I said, the Universe gives what you need when you’re ready. A young woman who was there to support her friend had come to my table… we had got talking and connected right away. Always remember like attracts like. and our good vibes did just that. She was really impressed with the shop and wanted to offer her expertise to help grow my social media platform. It was exactly what I was asking for. I’m not very tech savvy and to be honest have no patience for any of that, not like I used to. I also realized that a growing team in your corner is very valuable.

We were finally able to meet up for a quick meeting so I could drop off some products for her to play around with and revamp my social media presence. With the little time we had, I learned a lot. I learned that there needs to be a clear and concise flow to what you want to put out to your customers. All the things that I knew I  wanted to do but didn’t know how to start it.

So what have I’ve learned here?…. Never give up on your dreams. You can put it on the shelf if you want to if life gets too busy but never forget it….Because it’s waiting for you and will always be waiting for you to finish what you’ve started.

Be clear on what you want. You’re not just getting clear with yourself but with the Universe.

And most importantly…Have faith. Have faith that you will attract the right people and situations to help you achieve the success you desire and deserve.

I hope you can continue to follow my journey through this experience and learn with me as I grow.

xoxox

Body, Mind & Spirit, growth, life lessons, Uncategorized

Chapter One pg.3

Well this morning went off as good as it possibly could. I mean I could have stayed in bed all day but morning called. Bonus was I was up before the children after the sleep over. The girls didn’t go to bed until 12:30am which means I didn’t actually go to bed until 1 in the morning. Anyways, My spiritual posse has been calling on me to pay attention, probably because I’ve had a lot on my mind. I pulled an amazing spread that spoke to me on so many levels.

As much about I’m always writing about how to navigate through the treacherous waters of life with love on your side, I’m still this littler girl with Big Dreams. I’ve always dreamt of owning my own business for as long as I could remember, I would play in my room as if it was my office, processing paperwork, all while looking after my baby doll. It was a cabbage patch kid. I’ve never thought I would do anything else. I could never quite put my finger on what the business would be but it was all mine. After having my son I couldn’t quite see myself not staying home to raise him. I also thought it was a good opportunity for me to start my dream business… Whatever that was. Now I’m very creative and am always wanting to invent and reinventing. I also never give up. I have had a lot of different people not believe in me, and honestly though I would make it. It just gave me more of a reason to work harder to prove to myself and to everyone else that dreams do come true.

So to be honest, I’ve been through many start ups and only just getting it off the shelf, only to put the dream back on the shelf. Frustrating of course. I’ve always let fear get to me. Fear of failing and having people tell me I told you so or this fear that I end up working this horrible desk job that pays a lot of money but makes me super miserable. All the woman in my life have worked great jobs but were never happy. So I thought if  did what they did, I would never have the opportunity to find out what makes me happy.  I think I finally figured it out. What makes me happy is ME!. Working on the unknown does for sure stress me out. I mean I do have to navigate between being a mom and being a business owner. Your time is always split, and both jobs are 24/7. But working on the unknown excites me. It makes me realize that I have a lot faith in myself or I wouldn’t keep getting back up again.

The tarot cards that I pulled were so accurate. Projects are fruitful, Faith and Confidence are high and will continue to rise. I need to stay focused AF and all will be well. I have to say, although my computer was giving me a mild heart attack earlier during the day due to all these software updates for 2019. Ugh!. Just when I’m trying to set 2019 off right. I guess it’s just a reminder that anything can happen during this process. I’m sure I’ll have a lot more to share.

Well before I head off to bed…. Yesterday was the first launch of Righteous Sun website out to the social media crowd. I kept it quiet to my Fam. I actually kept it quiet with almost everyone. I didn’t want the distractions, and I also second guess myself. This project feels different then the others. Maybe because for the first time it’s for me. Most of the other projects were for other people. Whether it was for my kids creating kids accessories for them or me giving a healing to others who were in need. This one just feels different. It makes me nervous as hell but I’m taking it all in stride. BTW… The launch is my online cosmetic and skin care Boutique. My goal is to provide people with all natural vegan friendly cruelty free cosmetics and skin care for the everyday and play!… You like those play on words?… Lol!

Ok Its getting late. I’m putting out there that I will be making $60,000 plus by the end of 2019. Big Dreams I guess… But Why Not?

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Making Sense of it All

Wow!… Where to begin. To go all the way to the beginning would be a little much but would probably help me to understand why I am so committed to the term “Knowing Thy Self”.   Of course as a spiritual healer it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t tell you that everything is a little backwards right now because of the Retrograde happening  in outer space. For those who are not in the astrology loop, a retrograde is a great time to stop everything in its tracks and do three important things. Rest, Reflect and Relax. Sounds amazing doesn’t it? Well…. A retrograde doesn’t always work out that way. What normally happens is that it forces everything to stop dead in its tracks and then rewinds it, all to make sure that you got the message so that you don’t repeat it again.

In my opinion, Retrogrades are like a bully that keeps pushing you down even when you keep getting back up every single time. Now that my friend, is called resiliency.

Retrogrades have done a number on my life and it’s always been about the same thing…. Finances. I was never one to want to work for someone if it wasn’t making me feel fulfilled. I also still feel this up to  this day, that if I was dreading waking up and doing a job that I didn’t love then my life was for what?….If that makes any sense. I’ve had a dream ever since I was a little girl…. To give and receive as much love as possible in this life time.

I grew up in a family that showed little love if any. And I saw a lot of hard work that went into building a foundation off of materialistic items rather than healthy unapologetic LOVE. I can’t blame them… and maybe I can’t blame myself for the decision I’ve had to battle with.

After having my son who is now 12…. I knew the moment I laid eyes on him, I could never leave him in the care of not one single soul until he could speak for himself. I was supposed to go back to my job as a receptionist but I was just figuring this whole Mom thing out and just getting the hang of it. He brought so much joy and a surge of possibilities and wonders that I forgot was there. Besides, Daycare was and still is a mortgage payment. So with that I chose to stay home….

I went on to have two more kids, all of them three years apart. I worked part time here and there and every now and then would run into people who I thought had amazing jobs and lives,  going through University and whole bit  and they would say that they were unhappy. so how to make sense of it all….

I’ve never had much in terms of finances, even as a kid and I hated it! I hated not being able to go on trips around the world like all my friends, to go to Florida for March break. You get the gest of it. I still haven’t been to Disneyland and I’m pretty sure you can’t get to Disneyland on love alone…. Can you?

I’ve always dreamed of starting my own business spreading love and healing others because I know how difficult it is to heal on our own…. And when you’re a Mom where that child needs you for everything including it’s memories and happiness…Sigh!…It can feel like A LOT of pressure. I can confidently say that if I never took that night to just sit in silence on my balcony I would have never known the joy of meditation. If I never took that prenatal yoga class downtown, which I might add, I was super afraid to go to on my own but I did… I would have never known the true joy and  of the gentleness of my body and what it was capable of doing. Body, mind and spirit. It changed my life.

You know now that I think about it…. It was spirit all along guiding me back to me. I did what I said I was going to do which was to open a healing business. However business has been slow getting off the ground. Yoga could be more consistent and that comes down to me having more confidence in going out there and believing in my gifts and promoting myself.

So I’m not sure if the Universe trying to tell me to find the balance of working a full time job to create a stable foundation to continue to work of the Universe or is it that the stable foundation comes from healthy love and the rest is history. Just trust the process.

I’ve went to many of profound gifted people who have all said that I will have a business that will literally grow on its own.  So far so good in the Yoga department. That I will travel the world spreading positive vibes and love and that I will inspire many people in the process. In the core of my being, I believe that with all my heart. It’s a bit difficult to see the bigger picture when other obstacles get in the way though.

The truth is….. I don’t want to go back to work full time in the corporate world. I’ve worked so hard in not only finding my voice and building the confidence to achieve what I’ve achieved up to this point and those are amazing accomplishments in itself. It just feels like I’m giving up and taking the easy route or the safest one…. But I want a house with a backyard and I want to travel with my family and experience all the wonders of the world… AND… have the means to do it without having to choose or scrounge…. ALL while doing what you love!  Continue reading “Making Sense of it All”

life lessons, Uncategorized

The Calm after the Storm

Well Spring has officially never begun. It is April 15th 2018 and its snowing. Where buds on the trees should be showing proudly….instead we see them being covered by icicles….. Or were they really there to begin with. The buds, I mean. Maybe just wishful thinking on my part. Just wanting the spring to show it’s beautiful pastel colours that in turn give us the bold colours of Summer. The warmth that the sun brings on my skin is quiet amazing and by the time summer is in full swing, I’m lookin’ like a yummy morsel of Godiva chocolate. Of course I’m the expensive kind.

If the Retrograde wasn’t enough, Mother Nature decided to hit us with the last blast of very cold weather. It felt like we were going backwards and revisiting a lot of things that we thought were resolved or went unnoticed.  Is  it just me or was this the longest running Retrograde ever? It felt like it would never end and that included the tears. Emotionally it was unpredictable and if you’re a parent or look after kids, you could definitely say that  munchkins all over the globe felt this stretch as well.

And now that’s its finally over, there’s no more excuses for not getting the job done. No more excuses for wishful thinking. It’s time to devise a plan if you don’t already have one and set the wheels in motion. If you don’t have a plan , then you should be real glad that Mother Nature just gave you a bit more time. (Especially if you live in Toronto, Canada.)

A plan is like the map to the goals that you set, and sometimes the planets and the stars could either confuse or redirect you at any moment. It can also put a total stop to everything and teach you a lesson all at the same time. it’s multifaceted.  I don’t know about you, but it is imperative that I stay on track so I don’t lose my mind…. I do have kids to look after, and that alone could make any person  lose their mind at any moment.

That’s why it is so important for us to hone in on something we love to do. I’ve always been crafty, and enjoy seeing the finished product of what it is that I’ve made. I’ve always loved fashion and have always wanted to share my creativity in any way possible. So I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone of living in fear and doubt and jumped into something that brings out my creativity. I’m….. dabbling in the screen printing and I’m loving every minute of it. It allows me to express myself through words and then place it on a garment of clothing. My advice is to find something that can really be your own and that allows you to create and express your individuality. When we become parents, we take this unspoken oath to share our lives with these little people, no questions asked. However, you can keep some things to ourselves.

You know I have a habit of getting distracted when starting a hobby or activity but to turn that hobby into my dreams, I must set some goals. I learned a lot about setting goals and intentions this last 3 weeks. I’ve learned that setting goals and sticking with them are two different things. Setting a goal is like make a statement of what you want or plan on achieving and sticking with a goal is to have patience with the choice that you’ve made. That means sticking with a choice that you know will take practice in order to be perfect.

Luckily, this storm has given me just a little extra time to reflect on everything I’ve learned or have had to figure out during this transit. It has been disappointing at times but I’m sure that is from me going against the current.(I’m a control freak.) Its a good thing I guess, because I did learn a lot about myself and where I’m headed as long as I’m willing to go there where no one has ever gone before in my family.

My dream at the time was to own my own business and I accomplished that in January of this year. Now my reality is to become successful at my endeavor(s) and inspire others to follow their dreams. Therefor, following through would be the last piece to the puzzle. To follow through means to trust that little voice in your head that tells you what your next move is. In order to make that voice louder, we really need to quiet the mind and trust that you will be led in the right direction.