“What about your friends”… You know TLC always has the hottest joints and was speaking truth to top it all off. As parents we want our kids to find that best friend that they can call their own… That BFF that becomes par of the family. As parents, we also wouldn’t mind if our own kids were besties with our besties kids. Too cute! Right?. But sadly that isn’t always the case, especially as we get older. We teach our kids to be kind to our friends and to always share. All well and good until that friend starts to overstep their boundaries and begins taking advantage. Well then, it’s no holds bar after that.
Let’s begin by understanding the meaning friends. Some of us are currently in friendships that don’t really elevate you. Some of us are actually in friendships that make you feel exhausted by the end of it. And some of you are in friendships that are down right shitty.
When we were younger, we received a lot of our confidence from out friends. The more friends the . It was a status thing to show how popular you were, especially in High school. Then by the end of your final year in high school, you realize that you might never see these people again, because you are all going to different colleges when you graduate. (If you graduated)…. All those bonds that were made slowly start to become thin as we go through our years in college meeting other people with similar interests as yourself. We move on from college and begin working and meeting new people, we might get married and have kids which then puts you in a different category of friends. (If you have any at all after having kids). Welcome to the Parents Club!
That’s why we’re going to break down what not to look for in a friendship….. You know those friends that when you talk to them, it’s always about them during the conversation. Not once do they ask you how you are doing. They just pour their whole hear out like you’re their therapist. They complain about the same thing and when you give them sound advice but they never take it. You want to find a friend that is a great listener, and someone who values you as well. It is of course a balancing act but if you’re friend is a giver and receiver than you shouldn’t run into any problems.
Make sure that the friends you keep are on the major positive tip. We might have friends that are basically Debbie Downers but because you’ve been friends for such along time, you can’t bare to tell them to brighten up their attitude. So you still hang out with them, only to begin to feel as low as your friend. Simple, hang out with people who match your vibrations. If you are on that positive vibe than you must hang out with people who match that, so that you can both celebrate together. Be aware… Those who are positive will always encourage their fellow friends because they want you to win as much as they do. No competition.
Find a friend with little to no drama. Hiccups and obstacles will always come our way, it’s our response to it that matters the most. If you have a friend that always has dram follow them and just can’t act right when the drama does happen… Then you must rethink your friendship… no matter how much they can be. If you have friends that try and you the drama even if you had nothing to do with but somehow got dragged into it… Then please rethink your friendships right now as we speak.
No judgement is huge in my book. Why?…. because we all have flaws and sometimes we’re always quick to judge others on their past without looking at ourselves in the mirror. We all have a path to take, and it can get bumpy on our journey to freedom. So don’t judge others if they haven’t reached the same level as you. If you see a willingness from your friend to make positive changes in their lives then its worth hangin’ around. By setting comfortable boundaries you can still meet others who are on the same vibe as you while still maintaining a friendship with those who are a work in progress… Because face it! we are all works in progress.
Last but not least is to have FUN!. Have fun with your friend(s) they should be the type that gets you out of your comfort zone and helps you to be more adventurous with life. It usually works where one friends is shy and timid and the other friend is wild and spontaneous. it’s nice to that Yin and Yang in a relationship because it forces you to speak up for yourself and it also teaches you how to honour your feelings while being open to someone else’s… Like your friend!
So not that we know what’s healthy when hanging with our friends…. What about your friends?….