life lessons, Uncategorized

The Not So Summer Blues

I came home this morning from the cleaning the gym. What a mess it was. You wonder how one place can get so dirty…But then you realize it’s a bunch of girls in that gym… Nuff said. Anyways, To my surprise when I got home, my partner hadn’t left yet for work. That was a nice feeling. We’ve been a lot busier lately which means less time together and the time we do spend together is on the couch past out. Parents, I know you feel me.

The kids were still asleep, so I went out on the balcony to catch up on some silence. It’s always nice to catch the silence before all the hustle and bustle begins. So of course as I’m taking in the summer morning, it got me thinking…. Wow, this summer feels like a good summer. Now I’m not really sure what I meant by that at the time but I think I’m getting a handle on it.

Earlier in the month, I was feeling a bit guilty that I wasn’t really doing much with the kids. From our middle one in gymnastics 4 days a week for the whole summer and everyone working, non stop with no days off, it’s been interesting trying to navigate fun into the equation. So far the kids haven’t complained…. So far. Something about this morning made me feel like even though, I’m not taking the kids here and there, we’re still enjoying summer. It was like a sense of ease, which got me thinking even more. Since it was the eclipse and it’s all about letting go.

When I was a kids, all my friends would go on vacation during the summer. So while they were on summer vacation, they were on vacation. I, on the other hand was at home for most of the time being watched my sister or in day camp which I wasn’t very fond of. I also wasn’t fond of staying home for the entire summer. When it was the first day of school and the teacher asks the class to write about what they did for the summer, my paragraph didn’t have much details. I had to look at the difference from then and now… My summers were good but there was always this lingering feeling of worry and fear because you knew that your Dad would come home and perhaps get mad about something or perhaps your parents would start arguing which they often did. So deep down you could never really enjoy summer and let your hair down.

Fast forward to now. That feeling isn’t there. I think it was lingering around, and I never took the time to acknowledge it and release it. So I did that today. I released that feeling of tension and sadness that went along with that feeling of summers past. I sat on that balcony with a feeling of gratitude. I’m  spending my summer in a loving home that I helped create. The days are filled with summer activities and BBQ’s, Morning are filled with birds chirping and the sun rising and I get to enjoy every bit of it with no worry or fear. Deep down that’s the type of summer I always wanted. Maybe it was never really about the vacations, although I still want to do plenty of travelling with the family. It was more about experiencing the peace and leisure of summer in a safe space which makes summer of course more enjoyable as a kid. I’m definitely grateful that my partner and I can provide that for our kids. Releasing what no longer serves me and filling it with my truth and my new reality.

Reminder: Even when you feel like the world is against you, just know that the Universe is for you.

 

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Adulting

I’m on the phone with my coach. It was fate, because earlier in the morning I had a vision that we were having a conversation about my life and what was next for me when it came to my business. I have changed my mind so many times when it comes to starting a business. I have started a clothing business, I became a motivational speaker and a yoga teacher. At one point I started carrying a vegan friendly makeup line…. I’ve done it all.

What I haven’t done is commit to either of them. I have always said to myself that I have nothing of material wealth to give but myself. The question was, “What do you have to offer?”. What a question…Right1… She always gets me to go deeper in my thoughts. Almost gets me choked up like she was sent from another planet to watch over me.

This full moon eclipse that was yesterday is obviously playing a huge role in my life. bringing up all the things that we really don’t want to acknowledge about ourselves. The truth that sometimes can hold us back from our destiny. So, I’ve decided to take a good look in the mirror…

I going to admit that I am definitely a bit of a turtle. Slow at times… Perhaps, I’m being modest. I fluctuate from task to task seeing how much I can fit into my schedule. All feeling like I never get much done.

A successful business depends on your love and passion for it.

And perhaps that successful business depends on the love and passion that I give to myself internally, rather then externally. She said it seems like I depend on external validation more that anything. Which was a hard pill to swallow.

I also think that sometimes we move slow in silence or never commit to the things we care about out of fear. Yup!, I said it! Fear! I have this fear of failure but now that I think about it I’m only failing myself. When fear gets in the way it paralyzes you from doing what your meant to do in life or in that particular situation, no matter what it happens to be.

In my mind, I have always in the background, just waiting to break free, but have been to shy to some out of my shell. However, I’m older now and its true what they say, there’s no time like the present.

To be self employed means that you treat your life like a business. You are the boss and the employee. So it’s all or nothing. it’s time to commit to this relationship whole heartedly . No more excuses for this adult. Just a disclaimer, I have only really felt like an adult about year and half ago. I wanted to say two years but even then I can honestly say that was just the beginning.

I’m 37 but look like I’m 16. I’m 5’1 but that has never stopped anyone my height from becoming successful. Mariah Carey for instance…. Need I say more.

I think figuring out my life has been a hobby until now. I have explored many things that has allowed me to grow into the person I am today. YOLO! should me the key to everyone’s life.

so to catch you up on my adulting experience, I had a one on one coaching session with a very successful entrepreneur. She gave me some amazing tips on making my business visual and viable. I invested in myself in ways that will help not only my business grow but myself as well.

Once I took me seriously, I received an opportunity to sell my merchandise in a mall as a pop up. I created Aries Collection! a baby and toddler clothing store. I create baby and kids accessories and clothes.  Now, I’m not sure how this mall found me but the Universe will always bless you with what is meant for you.

My life isn’t a hobby but a 24/7 career. I have to learn how to navigate being a Mom to three kids, being a partner to the love of my life and being a boss to my business. Adulting at its finest.

I know I’m not the only one who still wants wake up late, hit patios all summer and eat all day and stay up until the wee hours drinking with their friends.

 

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When Doors Begin to Open

My spirit guides always tell me to write… So here it goes. Ever since I could remember I either wanted to dance or own my own business. I’m the type of person that can’t stick to one project and when the urge hits to try something new…. I’m the first one to the line. Now granted they all haven’t been very successful, I think it’s because I never dedicated myself to one thing…Boredom always catches up with me. Like right now…I’m ready to close the laptop and go rest but It’s clear that getting things off your chest is very valuable to one’s well being. Like a release.

Procrastination and fear of judgement always lingers. Well I procrastinate because of the fear… but that will just take me on a whole other thought so lets stick to this one for now, cause it seems like I’m on a role now with my words as I type away on the key board in peace. Kids are occupied.

As a libra, I dabbled in anything that peaked my interest and brought me joy. What of course didn’t bring me joy but brought me a consistent pay check was the jobs that I either quit or got fired from.

Sorry I lost my train if though due to a child interruption. She needed a snack. What was I saying again?… Oh right! Experimenting with different projects. Although some saw it as just as hobby, I saw it as a learning process. A chance to grow through experience on a very personal level. I can’t lie, I’ve done some serious work on my internal makeup that only now am I starting to see the magic happen on the physical level…. And I’m loving every minute of it. I can’t lie, It makes me feel a bit nervous, like your shedding the old vulnerable you and emerging into a real adult. Hahahahaha! Someone who owns their choices and walks in faith that they as well as their family will always be take care of.

Anyway… back to the story, I told you I can lose my train of thought. I started Aries Collection in 2010 as just an idea. Aries was named after my son’s middle name, and it would a collection of items that were cute and put a smile on my face. It was after I had my son who will soon be 13. Back then, even though it wasn’t that long ago, there were very few selection in terms of boys clothes out on the market. The girls clothes was saturated with a cute variety, and I wanted to change that. I would draw at night on pieces of paper but eventually nothing came of it, circumstances arose and I’m sure I got distracted. I left the concept alone and went on with being a Mom to my son and soon to be second child. A girl who is now 9 and 3 years after that, another girl who is now 6.

It was when I had my third that I returned back to Aries Collection. People thought my daughter was a boy so I decided to make headbands for her and people stared to really take a liking for them. I began creating and selling and the Moms just ate it up. I mean, who could blame them, right? I began to create a small following and it finally felt good to do what I love to do which was to create. Eventually the finances became a little stressful and the business had to be put on hold… The numerous websites and creative work all had to be put on a hold, I think to find out whether or I was ready. I truly believe that the Universe gives you what you need when you’re spiritually ready. That means cleaning out all the cob webs of the past and recreating new thoughts and patterns for the future. You know the adulting stuff… Bringing all my hopes dreams and imagination of my childhood to the forefront of my reality.

Am I rambling yet or am I staying on track?…. Years later, I’m still healing and becoming more clear about my intentions and what I really want for the future of myself and my family. After Losing my beloved chocolate lab of 14 years as well as having a miscarriage all in the beginning of the 2019. I know right?… I realized that it was important for me to get my physical level in order. Mentally, spiritually and emotionally was really coming together but the Universe was asking for me to join the party and to physically raise my energy. I started to get real with myself by making a schedule for myself and committed to the growth of my business. I started stepping out of my comfort zone by participating in different events and markets. Way out of my comfort zone but well worth it. I remember this little voice in my head that said if you only make a little money from your sales, just know that you’ll get a lot more out of it then you might think…. And I did.

Weeks before I had asked the Universe to open the doors for to meet like minded people who would believe in my business and who would support me just on the basis of merit. I couldn’t pay them anything but they wanted to be a part of the journey. Well like I said, the Universe gives what you need when you’re ready. A young woman who was there to support her friend had come to my table… we had got talking and connected right away. Always remember like attracts like. and our good vibes did just that. She was really impressed with the shop and wanted to offer her expertise to help grow my social media platform. It was exactly what I was asking for. I’m not very tech savvy and to be honest have no patience for any of that, not like I used to. I also realized that a growing team in your corner is very valuable.

We were finally able to meet up for a quick meeting so I could drop off some products for her to play around with and revamp my social media presence. With the little time we had, I learned a lot. I learned that there needs to be a clear and concise flow to what you want to put out to your customers. All the things that I knew I  wanted to do but didn’t know how to start it.

So what have I’ve learned here?…. Never give up on your dreams. You can put it on the shelf if you want to if life gets too busy but never forget it….Because it’s waiting for you and will always be waiting for you to finish what you’ve started.

Be clear on what you want. You’re not just getting clear with yourself but with the Universe.

And most importantly…Have faith. Have faith that you will attract the right people and situations to help you achieve the success you desire and deserve.

I hope you can continue to follow my journey through this experience and learn with me as I grow.

xoxox

life lessons, Uncategorized

Getting rid of the leftovers

So we’re almost at that midway point Of the year and it’s a full moon today. Called the Flower moon…. A time to assess the last few years of your progress… great job everyone! As well as a time to rid yourself of the last bit of leftovers that have kept you back from being your true self. That means getting rid of the emotional baggage such as the guilt, the resentment, the hurt and the false belief that you’re not good enough. It’s the crap that still wants to hold on tight to our aura because it has nowhere else to go and it’s ver comfortable in the parts of your being where it’s of course making your life miserable.

The Flower moon is all about fertility. That means new beginnings… the blossoming of the new you…. new experiences. No more leftover feelings that no longer serves your purpose.

We all have a tendency to continue go down the same path that always leads to a dead end which means you just have to repeat the same path or situation until you can get pass that particular obstacle or obstacles.

So how can you get rid of the last bit of leftovers?…..

  • Really get down to your feelings and figure out what’s weighing you down. Once you get real with yourself, take the time to write yourself a goodbye letter to the old you. You can take it one step further and burn it (please remember to be safe)
  • Make a list of all the things you’ve ever wanted to do… and get ready to step out of your comfort zone. Coming out of comfort zone allows you to get to know yourself a bit better and how far you can reach in this vast Universe of possibilities.
  • Make sure you’re staying true to who you are… and the only way to do that is to surround yourself with positive vibes. Keep yourself afloat with the feel good flow, you know the things that keep you motivated.

Remember the only way to release is to realize.

Realize your ability for growth and change.

Realize all the work you’ve done to get to this point.

And most importantly… Realize your worth.

You’re definitely worth more than you realize.

Happy Full moon.

Body, Mind & Spirit, Uncategorized

You owe it to your spirit

I finally got the courage to go to the gym. Now don’t get me wrong… the courage was always there, I just had to find it again. I don’t know what it is about public gyms that I don’t like. I think for me it’s a vulnerable state for me. This feeling as though others are watching you cause most of the time they are. I also look very young, which is a blessing and a curse at the same time but we’ll leave that for another day. A big one for me is not knowing how to use the machines.Anyway, back to my original thought. Lol!

I went back and forth with myself and finally went . It was alright, I felt like I really put a lot into myself today which felt really good. I of course knew I had to eat something because it was lunch time and I especially wanted to make sure it was healthy. I also took it one step further and got some veggie powder to put in my water. This time I’m caring for my health in all categories and this was the piece to the puzzle. So I LOVE sweets. especially pastries. So as I’m about to take a sip of this veggie powder water which was interesting by the way, I made a complaint to myself about getting healthy and My spirit said,

because you owe it me. This journey that your on has been a joint effort internal work is a lot of work and is never ending but my spirit and I have come a long way on this journey and it’s time to show appreciation to my entire temple.

The Body has to house that strong spirit you’ve become. No matter what you look like or how you think you might feel. You owe it. Like a thank you for all the growth and wisdom that I’ve learned along the years. Thank you for being there even when I wasn’t at my best and thank you for motivating me to do what I was meant to do on this earth.

Everyday will be different, that’s why its so important that you listen to your body to understand what it is asking of you. No pressure, just paying attention to the subtle ques. Every now and then, try and, to push yourself outside of your comfort zone. Challenge yourself. Your are limitless!

Body, Mind & Spirit, Uncategorized

Finding the Rhythm

It’s Only been a week, yes since I’ve begun to find a rhythm. It has been a Mercury  Retrograde and it finally ended today. Now It’s time for reflection. It’s been really nice to finally get into the swing of things. So many of us are stuck in those habits that make us feel comfortable, but this Mercury retrograde is almost forcing us to break bad habits. To finally recognize those things that were holding us back and do what is right for our spirit. It’s about finding the rhythm and the balance.

As a parent with three kids. All who have different activities and lets not forget different personalities, I have to maintain a balance that allows me to stay unbothered as much as possible. I mean really, being a Mom is full of schedules and activities and it’s never ending, but the old me was to concerned with the overwhelming feeling of being able to take on all those tasks without burning myself out. Now I’ve to see that it’s the little self care moments that if you take it on at your own pace, you’ll find it will begin to help you in other areas of your life.

There’s a lo of us out there that believe that if we are constant grind  will get us to all our final destination or wish. The truth is… It’s about constantly feeding ourselves with the feel goods. From drinking water everyday as well as getting the proper amount of rest. However we also tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves by setting these outlandish goals  and when we don’t complete our desired goal that we set for ourselves, we immediately put ourselves down, give up and repeat the steps on a later date. You have to believe in your truth at that moment. Believe that you have the capabilities to reach that desired goal but at your own pace. Everyday will be different, which in my opinion is a good thing. Your body will tell you what it needs, just as long as you’re listening to your higher self to find out what feels good to your spirit.

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Nurturing the success of your children as well as yourself

Now I’m no expert in parenting but going to an event that I was already hesitant to go to but for some reason decided to stop in got me thinking really hard… I mean some real food for thought.

The event was in honour of people of colour for Black history month a friend of mine had invited me and so I thought I don’t think I’ve ever really honoured my blackness in public with other people of colour so why not go. The speaker was someone very influential. So I guess I wanted to hear how this woman got to where she was today all while being a mother. When the question was finally raised about motherhood and how she had navigated through all of her rise to success all while being a single mom her response was this, “it was all a blur” which would explain a lot.

You see I don’t know this speaker personally but I do know of her daughter and I know that in someways her Mother’s success affected her In many ways then one and that’s what got me thinking…. even though she is very successful in her career the parenting piece was all a blur. What I’m saying is I don’t want my parenting and my time with my kids to be a blur because I was so driven towards my own success. We can find success in so many different things we can find success in the big things as well as the little things and sometimes the success that we do find is really those happy times and those connected moments with the ones we love.

Even as women of colour there is always this hardness behind us that’s more along the lines of ‘suck it up butter cup’, as oppose to the gentle nurturer. I can attest by my own mother and how she navigated through her career and being a Mom. Now that I’m a Mom, I can understand where they were coming from. They were single Moms who were really living in survival mode for themselves and most importantly for their children and so they did what ever they had to, to get to that next level, even if it meant that the kids wouldn’t get the gentle Motherly type.

So the question is how can we as parents nurture our success and our children’s success at the same time?….

These are some of the tools I’ve learned and continue to apply to my life and my family life.

1) in order to nurture the success of your children you first have to find out what they love… as a Mom I have always paid attention to the interest of my kids. My son loves science and nature and so we try and find activities that foster his interests.

My middle one loves gymnastics and is a natural and my little loves music and so I’m slowly moving her in that direction because that’s what she loves. Now of course as a parent I had different plans but when the Universe shows you the joy that comes out of it when they do what they love that my friends is success.

2) prioritize your time as a Mom and as a career driven woman. Sometimes we feel we can only do one but not both. When you’re running your business and trying to get it off the ground, the down time is very limited but that doesn’t mean that you can’t set aside down time for the people you love. Create a schedule that works and remember to add in DOWN TIME!

3) Be self aware… as parents we have a tendency of not being aware of the effects we have on our kids. We can be so focused in the success and the end result that we can sometimes have blinders on forgetting our kids needs which could just be them wanting Mommy time. Make sure we’re spreading the knowledge of where happiness really comes from. Not from the late nights at the office, but from those special moments we have with the people we love.